Parents and their toys.

Alan brought this book — written by a Michigan author — to my attention a while back. “My Parents Open Carry” tells the story of young Brenna Strong (subtle, that) and her pistol-packing parents. They carry their heat right out on their hips, and “Our goal was to provide a wholesome family book that reflects the views of the majority of the American people, i.e., that self-defense is a basic natural right and that firearms provide the most efficient means for that defense,” as the description goes.

You can imagine.

It was amusing to see the book is now being bombarded with Amazon user reviews:

Can’t wait for the sequel,. “My Black Parents Open Carried Until the Police Shot Them 146 Times”.

I got really excited when I found out there was a sequel coming out for the really little ones: “Goldilocks and the Three Open Carry Bears”

SPOILER ALERT: This does not end well for the blonde moocher who commits a Breaking and Entering.

Three stars because…Freedom.

I am taking away two for missing the obvious opportunity for this to be a pop-up book. Each time a figure popped up, the whole family could decide to shoot or not. Maybe include a detachable color palette of skin colors to help decide.

Who needs a little Isaac Hayes on a Thursday? Note who assists him with his outfit. That’s Jesse Jackson if it’s anyone:

Thursday! It is here.

UPDATE: Y’all would do me a solid if you’d hit my story on gentrification over at Bridge. Start with the mainbar and the map. There’s a sidebar with links to a potty mouth Spike Lee rant, too. Thanks.

Posted at 12:30 am in Current events |

33 responses to “Parents and their toys.”

  1. David C. said on August 21, 2014 at 6:15 am

    The dad in “My Parents Open Carry” is Dick Strong. Nope, they don’t have any strange psycho-sexual attachment to their… …pieces.

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  2. Dorothy said on August 21, 2014 at 7:30 am

    That song always ends way too fast for my tastes. Too bad Isaac didn’t take that microphone away from Jesse about 75 seconds sooner. I watched Hustle & Flow on Showtime last weekend for the second time in my life. I forgot that Isaac Hayes was in it.

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  3. Deggjr said on August 21, 2014 at 7:53 am

    Oh Amazon reviews. The pepper spray reviews from a couple of years ago are great:

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  4. Julie Robinson said on August 21, 2014 at 8:09 am

    There’s my ear worm for the day! Dorothy’s right, Jesse needs to get out of the way. He’s so stiff, and all he can say is yeah, yeah, yeah.

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  5. beb said on August 21, 2014 at 8:17 am

    There are so ant potential sequels to “My parents open-carry” such as “I’ll never have a brother because my open-carry Dad shot his balls off,” and “Never Scare my open-carry mom” by the late Nicky Strong.

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  6. beb said on August 21, 2014 at 8:18 am

    “so many” — where did “ant” ever come from?

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  7. Snarkworth said on August 21, 2014 at 8:57 am

    The open-carry family on the book cover has Michele Bachmann eyes.

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  8. Dorothy said on August 21, 2014 at 9:24 am

    I have to stop reading those reader reviews at Amazon because I’m laughing too much at work. This was a goodie:

    1.0 out of 5 stars “The Baby Sitters Club Accidentally Kill Mr. and Mrs …, August 20, 2014
    By Bea Sensible – See all my reviews
    This review is from: My Parents Open Carry (Paperback)
    “The Baby Sitters Club Accidentally Kill Mr. and Mrs. Jones When They Arrive Home Early From Their Date.”
    “My Parents Have No Toes.”

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  9. Jeff Borden said on August 21, 2014 at 9:24 am

    Dick Strong? Really?

    The author must’ve been heavily influenced by “Boogie Nights.”

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  10. brian stouder said on August 21, 2014 at 9:31 am

    OK – not to be the cloying teacher’s pet or anything (although there is that marvelous white blouse!) –

    but just read that first linked Bridge article about the 313 (I preferred the 7.2; if I was going to mover there, that’s the term I’d use), and all y’all should, too.

    It’s good stuff all around, and as an aside – this line made me laugh out loud:

    The market may be a cruel mistress, but it cannot be denied

    See – now that’s my kind of cruel mistress, indeed!

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    • nancy said on August 21, 2014 at 9:37 am

      It’s not the blouse you liked, Brian, but the fact it was gaping open enough that you could see a little boob. I didn’t even notice it at first, but guys rarely miss these things.

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  11. brian stouder said on August 21, 2014 at 9:39 am

    Never, ever


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  12. Minnie said on August 21, 2014 at 9:42 am


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  13. Sue said on August 21, 2014 at 10:28 am

    David C. and Jeff Borden, Dick Strong’s bringing gun ownership out of the closet, too.

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  14. Deborah said on August 21, 2014 at 10:30 am

    Enjoyed the Bridge article about gentrification. I clicked on one of the links about coffee pour-overs which took me to a NYT article which had a link to Williams Sonoma where I almost bought a piece of coffee paraphernalia which I don’t need but have admired at Intelligensia in Chicago, one of those pourers with the long curved spouts. I caught myself and didn’t purchase it.

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  15. brian stouder said on August 21, 2014 at 11:33 am

    And I schlepped over to the essay titled

    Constant tax cuts killing Pure Michigan

    which wasn’t NN.c-grade, but was still very good, indeed

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  16. Sherri said on August 21, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    Dahlia Lithwick reminds us that it’s not only the First Amendment that’s being trashed in Ferguson, and why it’s important to pay attention:

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  17. LAMary said on August 21, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    I have to buy that open carry book. All the Doug Giles books on the Amazon page were so enticing as well.

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  18. Sherri said on August 21, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    Some more of the context in Ferguson – Ferguson averaged $321 in fines and 3 warrants per household in 2013:

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  19. brian stouder said on August 21, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    I saw this headline, and I thought of MichaelJ/Prospero –

    Brine Hauler Sues Over Biblical Fracking Billboard

    And indeed, the article is worth a chuckle or two. Here’s the lead:

    COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — An Ohio man who uses a biblical reference and a statement against “poisoned waters” on billboards opposing a local deep-injection gas well is fighting a legal threat from the Texas well owner on free-speech grounds. Austin, Texas-based Buckeye Brine alleges in a July lawsuit that the billboards paid for by Michael Boals, of Coshocton, contain false and defamatory attacks against its two wells, which dispose of contaminated wastewater from oil and gas drilling.

    PS – and indeed, Sherri – where are the damned “tea-partiers”, eh? Talk about your unfair taxation…

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  20. Deborah said on August 21, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    There was a case here in NM where a guy was stuck in jail for days for stealing a candy bar, he didn’t have the money and couldn’t get anyone to pay $5 to bail him out. Meanwhile it cost the state $60 per day to keep the guy in jail. I think this happened in Albuquerque, can’t remember.

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  21. brian stouder said on August 21, 2014 at 5:02 pm

    Sherri – that Lithwick article you linked is the tremendously good stuff.

    I never really considered the tension between the 10th and 14th Amendments, but it is there.

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  22. LAMary said on August 21, 2014 at 5:49 pm

    Something for Dorothy next time you venture back to Pittsburgh

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  23. Jolene said on August 21, 2014 at 7:15 pm

    Here’s something kind of interesting to know: the percentage of police officers killed in the line of duty. Short answer: a very tiny percentage. Policing is not one of the ten most dangerous occupations in the country.

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  24. Deborah said on August 21, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Something is definitely wrong…

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  25. Sherri said on August 21, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    More Dahlia wonderfulness:

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  26. Jolene said on August 21, 2014 at 8:18 pm

    I agree, Deborah. That video is very disturbing. Watching it, I have the sense that he’d still be alive if one of the officers had said, “Why don’t you sit down over here, and we’ll figure out what’s going on?”.

    He doesn’t have a tearful mother, and the police had the sense not to leave his body in the street for hours. Together with the claim that he had a knife, these factors seem to have prevented any sort of protest from getting started, but it’s not at all clear to me that this was a justifiable shooting.

    Hope you all look at the video. Would be interested in hearing more reactions.

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  27. Sherri said on August 21, 2014 at 9:14 pm

    I watched the video, and there’s a lot I don’t understand. Nobody seems to look concerned or threatened in any way. Were the cops called to the scene? What were they told? I’m not a police officer, but it looks like they escalated the situation by the way they approached it. I didn’t see a threatening move, and I don’t think failure to drop a knife when ordered to is worthy of lethal force.

    It seems like there’s a big emphasis in police departments on “compliance,” where if people don’t instantly do what the police say, the police feel justified in escalating the level of force. It’s like Cheney’s 1% doctrine taken to the extreme: I don’t know that you won’t hurt me, so I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure you don’t.

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  28. MichaelG said on August 21, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    I didn’t see any reason for the cops to shoot Powell. It seems like shooting has become the solution of first resort. So many cops have killed so many people in the last ten years without consequence that it’s become no big deal to them. Just shoot the fucker and forget about it.

    Also, I noted that tons of cops seemed to show up very quickly but I didn’t see an ambulance or fire truck. Why not? (I don’t know about other cities but in Sacramento fire trucks respond to medical calls.)

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  29. Sherri said on August 21, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    More video, this from a reporter “embedded” with the police:

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  30. Crazycatlady said on August 21, 2014 at 11:55 pm

    I wrote a review with a suggestion for a sequel. ‘My Parent’s Open Caskets’.

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  31. Dexter said on August 21, 2014 at 11:57 pm

    Tech workers’ wages will blow your mind.

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  32. Hattie said on August 23, 2014 at 12:20 am

    Really good piece in The Bridge. Explains a lot.

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