The other envelope. Please.

So what would you have done if you were in their shoes? If you were Warren Beatty, looking into that envelope, knowing it was the wrong one? If you were the stagehand in the wings, suddenly realizing he was holding the wrong envelope?

Of course we all want to think we’d be heroes, that (if we were Beatty) we’d have looked into the wings, waved the envelope in some way that indicated someone needed to double check, then vamped for time with a few jokes. If we were the stagehand, we’d have bolted onstage for a moment of Oscar glory, waving the senior-citizen Bonnie and Clyde off like a plane about to land in a minefield.

But that didn’t happen. Sometimes actors who are brilliant at delivering lines are terrible at improv, and just default to the default: Read what’s on the card. Stagehands are trained to stay out of sight, and anyway, maybe s/he didn’t have the correct card. What then? “Something’s wrong, but we’re not sure what!” just wouldn’t have worked under the circumstances.

And so we at least got a memorable moment to talk about Monday. I actually read a few takes about the “injustice” done to the film made by black folks, which put me in mind of a bride who has a truly memorable mishap at her wedding, the kind that will make people talk about it for years afterward, and can only feel sorry that her special day wasn’t perfect. Right now, people are going to remember how “Moonlight” won a lot longer than they’ll remember “Moonlight.” Which isn’t exactly immortality, but it’s the next best thing.

Anyway, two people had one job, and screwed it up. (Not Beatty and Dunaway.)

So, a little bloggage:

Who knew? Really, who knew health care was so complicated?

Seriously, WHO KNEW?

Answer: Everybody.

Posted at 8:02 pm in Current events |
 

66 responses to “The other envelope. Please.”

  1. Sherri said on February 27, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    Not everybody. The people who’ve been conned into believing that Waste, Fraud, and Abuse is the reason government costs too much and think that businesses are always more efficient didn’t have a clue.

  2. Suzanne said on February 27, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    I read about Trump’s “Who knew?” statement earlier in the day. It just gets nuttier and nuttier, doesn’t it? Paul Ryan clearly doesn’t think it’s complicated. Can’t afford decent healthcare, then you die. Pretty dang simple!

  3. Sherri said on February 27, 2017 at 9:14 pm

    We had all kinds of weather today, snow, rain, hail, and a lightning strike at the Space Needle: https://twitter.com/space_needle/status/836362249178501120

  4. Suzanne said on February 27, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Sherri @ 1. I often wonder if people who believe business is more efficient than government have ever actually worked in business, because I’ve worked in both and on the whole, government entities were much better run.

  5. Deborah said on February 27, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    A few years back we were camping on our land in Abiquiu and a dust storm blew in from Mongolia of all places, it was like that video, we had to quickly break camp, pack it all up and drive to the nearest inn. It was crazy.

  6. Deborah said on February 27, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    Also Moonlight was the only film we saw from all the ones up for awards. I thought it was terrific and was so happy it was finally the one chosen. I still want to see Hidden Figures and La La Land.

  7. Jolene said on February 27, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Posting again the list of Oscar-nominated films published in the very useful NYT Watching newsletter. Scroll to the bottom to find info re the short films and other less-celebrated fare.

    I watched Moonlight and Manchester by the Sea this past weekend and was very impressed with both. Am looking forward to seeing Fences and Hidden Figures, which are still making money in theaters so not available to stream yet, though I expect they will be soon.

    To me, the most brutal moment in last night’s show was not the best picture mix-up, but the moment when Casey Affleck, after winning the Best Actor award, acknowledged the influence of Denzel Washington, who was nominated for the same award and had received a lot of “front runner” press. When Affleck said his name, the camera cut to Washington, and it was clear that neither Denzel nor Mrs. Denzel regarded Affleck’s praise as an acceptable substitute for the Oscar.

  8. Sherri said on February 27, 2017 at 11:33 pm

    trump’s tweets, and the TV spots that prompted them: http://money.cnn.com/interactive/media/trump-tv-tweets/index.html

    Someone needs to fake his TV feed. We’d all be safer.

  9. Jolene said on February 28, 2017 at 12:17 am

    What a great idea, Sherri! Have you seen this piece re his staff’s efforts to pacify him during the campaign?

  10. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on February 28, 2017 at 7:03 am

    Casey Affleck was the award that made me think of Marisa Tomei, not the closing kerfuffle: in retrospect, she *was* an unlikely winner, but when you look at the other nominees, they were so strong and had so many passionate fans it appears that they divvied up the voters in such a way to allow her to edge past Judy Davis, Miranda Richardson, Vanessa Redgrave and Joan Plowright.

    So I do think Denzel Washington was really showing the most impressive acting this year, with all due respect to the likable and perfectly solid Casey Affleck in “Manchester by the Sea“ — but I do think that Ryan Gosling and Viggo Mortensen and Andrew Garfield just carved the roast in such a way between them that it fell out for Affleck to have the single largest total . . . which is how it works, but it’s hard for me to look at “Fences” and say anyone else was best actor this year.

  11. Heather said on February 28, 2017 at 9:06 am

    I thought maybe Denzel was looking uncomfortable because he was being thanked by a guy who seems like he is probably a creep: http://time.com/4645846/what-to-know-about-the-casey-affleck-oscar-controversy/

    Notice that Brie Larson did not applaud when he won. Several people have pointed out the irony of someone who won an Oscar for the role of a sexual abuse survivor having to hand the award to someone accused of sexual harassment.

  12. Peter said on February 28, 2017 at 9:08 am

    I might need to see a professional for my delusions, but in some corner of my mind, when Cheeto Benito says something way stupid, I say to myself “FINALLY, this is the statement that will make his nutbag supporters start to question him”. And of course, so far Im batting .000. But really, if I was his big fan, I’d start to wonder what kind of life this guy has had when he suddenly realizes that healthcare is complicated!

    Too bad Mike Flynn isn’t around to explain it to him.

  13. alex said on February 28, 2017 at 9:27 am

    Heavens to Betsy. Earth to Betsy. Somebody tell her to put a sock in it. Without her foot. Please.

    https://thinkprogress.org/devos-hbcu-pioneers-of-school-choice-1470ad45a46f#.y2see33qb

  14. Julie Robinson said on February 28, 2017 at 10:17 am

    The end of the Oscars was a complete cluster. Warren and Faye were having trouble reading the prompter throughout their introduction–hello, we’re okay if you put on your glasses. It struck me that if either had worked in live theatre, it had been a long, long time away.

    When you do a live play, things go wrong. Every performance, some little detail gets missed. Someone forgets their lines, a prop isn’t where it should be, a costume change takes too long and the character doesn’t make it onstage in time. You learn to work around it and cope, and quickly. Warren should have immediately said that it looked like the wrong envelope, then one of the two PWC people should have brought out the correct one. What a cluster.

    Last month we were having work done in our sanctuary and were holding worship in the gym, and our pastor was also out of town so we had a sub. When the assisting minister (a lay person) started reading the Bible lessons, I saw that the second lesson had been omitted from the lesson print-out because of space, so I pulled it up on my phone.

    When the assisting minister got to the lesson he realized it wasn’t there, and started looking through all his papers, only to say, I don’t have it. In the sanctuary there would be Bibles, but we were in the gym. There was silence for five seconds, then I walked up with my phone and he read it from that. I didn’t think about it, just solved the problem. My theatrical work gave me that.

    And was anyone else bugged by Jimmy Kimmel? I guess I don’t care for his style.

  15. brian stouder said on February 28, 2017 at 10:19 am

    Alex – wow. I mean… – wow.

    Is she actually that stupid – or is she willfully ignorant? I’m beginning to understand propagandists like Baghdad Bob and/or the German radio guy (not even to mention Oxy-Rush, et al) really do believe their own (breathtakingly, willfully ignorant) ranting.

    But aside from that – look at Kelly Anne Conway, on the couch!

    Where are her shoes? (Or, I hope she wasn’t wearing heals!)

  16. Icarus said on February 28, 2017 at 10:29 am

    “But aside from that – look at Kelly Anne Conway, on the couch!”

    I may get flamed for this, but am I the only one who thinks that’s a Nothing Burger? Not just in context of everything else that has come out of this administration but, really, it’s a classic we don’t really know what was going on before the photo was snapped.

    I mean I get the respect for the oval office thing but the more I think about it, it’s the whole you don’t protest by insulting the flag thing: Some people feel that way, others don’t.

  17. Deborah said on February 28, 2017 at 10:32 am

    Julie, from your comment #14, I think you would like “Mister Monkey” by Francine Prose. Someone here recommended it a few days back. Or maybe that was you? Anyway, I’m reading it now and enjoying it very much.

    Also, I usually don’t like Jimmy Kimmel, but thought he did a good job at the Oscars. He had a few clinkers but overall I was entertained.

    Gary from Chicago is an internet meme now. Weird.

  18. Julie Robinson said on February 28, 2017 at 10:49 am

    Deborah, it wasn’t me, but I think you’re right. I’ll put it on my queue.

  19. brian stouder said on February 28, 2017 at 10:57 am

    Icarus – agreed – a nothingburger; albeit a distracting nothingburger!

    Ms DeVos really does worry me, as the one part of government that affects our household the most directly (every day) is public education…at least up until President Trump decides it’s time to go to war with Mexico or Cuba

  20. Joe K said on February 28, 2017 at 10:58 am

    Lectured for six months by Hollywood elites on everything from soup to nuts and they can’t even get the awards correct? (Lol) I have never seen such a bunch of pompass asses, the lowest blow was bringing in the tour group, bow down to us scum, we will allow you to worship us, but don’t come within 200ft of me outside this venue or my bodyguard will hand you your ass, what would have really been great would have been moonlight being up on stage accepting the award and then finding out that La,La, land had really won, wonder how that would have gone over.
    However the people from La, La, Land did show in my opinion a lot of class in how they handeld the snafu, I thought they were very gracious.
    There may be hope yet.
    Pilot Joe

  21. Judybusy said on February 28, 2017 at 10:58 am

    Here’s what Awesomely Luvvie had to say on Kellyanne. No way she’d be doing that if it were a bunch of white execs in that room.

    Icarus, yeah, kind of a nothingburger, but Luvvie’s take is highly entertaining, and I do need to laugh sometimes.

  22. beb said on February 28, 2017 at 11:12 am

    My first thought was that the only couch I’d like to see Kelly Ann on is the one in Dr. Freud’s office. But after taking a further look at the picture I can see three things wrong with it. First is that she’s texting while Il Douche is having a meeting with very important people. Second is that she’s in the foreground of the picture of very important people. She’s drawing attention away from the people Il Douche is meeting. And the Third tthing wrong with that picture is that all the Black Women have been herded to the back of the picture making it look like the orange monster is only meeting with black men! It is a terrible, terrible picture.

  23. nancy said on February 28, 2017 at 11:21 am

    Julie, did you ever hear the story about Kenneth Branagh as Henry V onstage in London and the Case of the Missing Glove?

    Shakespeare’s plays don’t call for many props, but when they do, they’re essential, and the glove in “Henry V” is key. Somehow, Branagh dropped the glove that was tucked in the waistband of his costume at some point in his movement around the stage, and when he needed it — no glove. So get this: He improvises! In Shakespearean English! He turns to the actor playing Fluellen and asks for his glove, in Elizabethan iambic pentameter or something. The actor freezes for a beat, figures out what happened, and dashes offstage to get another one. So Henry skips around a bit in the text, walks around the stage a little and spots where he dropped the glove. He picks it up casually, walks back to his mark and does the glove speech to the proper actor. Just as he’s handing it over, Fluellen charges back onstage with another one and says something like “M’lord, I found your glove!” People who know the play are laughing at this point, and those who don’t are just mystified.

    Afterward he’s signing autographs at the stage door and a taxi comes creeping down the alley. A window rolls down, and a voice within calls out LOVED THE GLOVE before driving away.

  24. coozledad said on February 28, 2017 at 11:34 am

    That Kelly Anne can leave a baking stripe on my sexional any time if you know what I mean and I do. Those Jews in Hollywood woulden know how to stiff an archatect on a contract if he turned over their gramnma’s grave marker.

    That seal’s daddy needs to know when to shut up like Hillary and the intelligence community always lecturing me yay Putin if you ask me.

    just sayin’

    -Pilot Jimly Joe.

  25. Julie Robinson said on February 28, 2017 at 11:40 am

    Hadn’t heard that one but it’s great. I could tell a lot of stories, but I’m on my way out the door.

  26. coozledad said on February 28, 2017 at 11:44 am

    Trump is that guy you, as a company commander, have to lose in the jungle, point toward a minefield and say “Go go go you fuckin’ punk’ or just outright frag before you get anywhere close to a combat situation. He’s a coward and an internal threat.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/02/28/the-white-houses-overzealous-response-to-critics-of-the-y

  27. BItter Scribe said on February 28, 2017 at 12:50 pm

    JtMMO @10: I don’t know if you know or remember this, but after Tomei won, there was a rumor going around that Jack Palance, who had given her the award, had read her name by mistake, and the Academy let her keep the Oscar rather than acknowledge such an absurd mistake. (That rumor supposedly was started by Rex Reed. If that’s true, what a jerkass.) I never thought a mistake like that would even be conceivable, but now I guess we all know it is.

    JoeK @20: Why would you wish for “Moonlight” to be humiliated like that? Couldn’t have anything to do with the all-black cast, could it?

  28. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    Joe demonstrates the problem of engaging with Fox-news infested conservatives. Nobody simply has a legitimate difference of opinion, they’re lecturing to them, they’re smug and condescending, they’re violently protesting, they’re mean and insulting.

    The right has created a Manichaean monster to fight, I suppose they’ve always needed one, and in the absence of Communism in the 90s, looked across the aisle.
    You can align around common goals or a common enemy, and it’s easier to hold together around a common enemy, as the Republicans are showing once again. They can rally around opposition to Obamacare, when they can paint it as this monstrous thing, but when they actually have to do something about it, people start figuring out the parts that effect them, and it’s not a common monster and doesn’t transition to a common goal.

  29. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on February 28, 2017 at 12:57 pm

    They certainly proved that, given a minute or two, they’re ready to make the correction even at the very end of the program. Which should make Ms. Tomei happy to see confirmed… and makes me think I should watch “My Cousin Vinny” again.

  30. 4dbirds said on February 28, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    Pilot Joe, do you know how racist your comment is? No really, do you even have a clue? I suspect you don’t because most white people and I include myself don’t know how racist we are and even when we might suspect it, we want to think we’re the good ones. You are a racist. Your comment confirms it. I hope you have a Damascus moment someday and understand what you can do to correct it.

  31. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    The National Review wraps up Black History Month not by celebrating African American History, nor by addressing its own problematic history with race, but by examining the Democrats’ shameful history with race. Robert Byrd’s corpse get dug up for another parade, but my favorite part is when they list opposition to Betsy DeVos in their bill of particulars.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/445303/democrats-black-history-month-amnesia-democratic-party-oppresses-blacks

  32. Jolene said on February 28, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    It wasn’t “Hollywood elites” who handed Warren Beatty the wrong envelope. It was a partner at the high-priced accounting firm of PriceWaterhouseCooper. As you say, Joe, the Hollywood people actually handled an awkward situation graciously.

  33. BItter Scribe said on February 28, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    Sherri @31: Of course the National Review wouldn’t think to examine its own problematic history with race, which includes:

    —Claiming that the Birmingham church bomber was a black agent provocateur;
    —Saying the Birmingham police were right to brutalize civil-rights marchers;
    —Asserting that whites in the South were right to keep blacks from voting because blacks weren’t “advanced” enough.

    All of this was during the regime of founder William F. Buckley. That guy got more mileage out of doing the obvious thing—breaking with the John Birch crazies—than anyone else in the history of punditry.

  34. Jakash said on February 28, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    “So what would you have done if you were in their shoes?” I really have no idea, but I spent too much time mulling over the ridiculous conclusion of the Oscars, and unfortunately for y’all, I’m going to share some of my thoughts in this overwrought and pointless comment…

    It seemed pretty clear that Beatty knew something was off, but, as Nancy and Julie note, just wasn’t quick enough on his feet to respond. All he had to do was turn the envelope over and see that it was for the previous award and ask for the correct one. But some folks tweeted that he threw Faye Dunaway under the bus by having her read the “winner.” I just think he was perplexed and wanted to show her why he was perplexed, not expecting her to do what she did. For her part, I think she was probably expecting “La La Land” to win, saw those words, and was more than ready to end the moment.

    Here’s where you’d think, with all the preparation, there would be a contingency plan for BOTH of the PwC folks to just walk right out and say, “Yeah, no, folks. Sorry, but here’s the right envelope.” before it could go any further. The fact that the guy was tweeting rather than making sure he completed the final baton-exchange correctly is mind-boggling. But, at that point, if you’re Beatty — you know that’s not the right card, but you may also think “La La Land” IS probably the winner, regardless. So, it would be pretty tempting to just hope that’s the case and see if it plays out all right.

    Finally, it was interesting to me to note the serendipity of Best Actress being the penultimate presentation, and that Emma Stone happened to be in the front-runner movie for Best Picture. If any of the other 4 nominees had won Best Actress, the movie named on the card Beatty held wouldn’t have been a nominee for Best Picture, so the ensuing mess would not have unfolded the way it did. And, who knows, maybe the accountant guy wouldn’t have been as smitten with Isabelle Huppert backstage, and would have focused on what he was supposed to be doing! ; )

    Hear! Hear! Jolene @ 32 — though it’s always illuminating to have Pilot Joe give us a bracing look at whatever some of the most egregious right-wing talking points are at any given time…

  35. Deborah said on February 28, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    Jolene, nailed it.

  36. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    Today in sports owners behaving badly…

    The Minnesota Vikings moved into a new stadium last season. As the stadium was being designed and built, they were repeatedly warned that it would be dangeours to birds, a lot of them, but nothing was done. Now, the stadium is killing birds, a lot of them: http://citypages.com/news/us-bank-stadium-is-a-bird-killing-machine/414865323

    Zygi and Mark Wilf, the owners of the Vikings are so upstanding it’s hard to imagine that they would ignore such a situation. After all, they only face a $100M judgment for civil fraud and racketeering over having cheated a business partner for 20 years.
    http://citypages.com/news/us-bank-stadium-is-a-bird-killing-machine/414865323

    So, when you think Dan Snyder is the bottom of the barrel for sports teams owners, remember the competition is stiff!

  37. coozledad said on February 28, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    The President is a cunting Nazi:
    https://twitter.com/chrisgeidner/status/836653660864147456

  38. Peter said on February 28, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    As if I needed more proof, Cooz’ linked WP article had this doozy from Our Leader:

    “Well, this was a mission that was started before I got here,” Trump said. “This was something that was, you know, just — they wanted to do. And they came to see me and they explained what they wanted to do, the generals, who are very respected. … And according to General Mattis, it was a very successful mission. They got tremendous amounts of information.”

    You know…I inherited this mess from Obama – he’s still stabbing me in the back, but that’s what Muslims do….

  39. redoubt said on February 28, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    Me again. Re comment 20: I can speak only for my Afro-American self, but so many of us have had others questioning our right to exist we’ve developed thick skins over the years. (Trust me, I’ve heard worse.)

    Re comment 21: I actually sort of feel sorry for the HBCU presidents. They’ll be caught between the Scylla of students, parents, faculty and alumni flinging words like “sellout” and worse (I attended an HBCU for a couple of years; it can get spicy) and the Charybdis of an administration which frankly would love to put them out of business.

  40. john (not mccain) said on February 28, 2017 at 2:35 pm

    “Couldn’t have anything to do with the all-black cast, could it?”

    Crawlin’ with queers, too, so for drooling thugs like JoeK it’s a two-fer.

  41. brian stouder said on February 28, 2017 at 3:20 pm

    Just for the record – I’d nominate post 39 for Thread Win, for best invocation of ‘Scylla and Charibdis’ (Scylla of students, parents, faculty/Charybdis of administration), since Sting & the Police did in (if memory serves) Wrapped Around your Finger…which is a twofer, since Sting was at the Oscars (and on his marks, too!)

  42. Icarus said on February 28, 2017 at 3:26 pm

    @redoubt, you and Scalzi are probably the only two people who could work Scylla and Charibdis into a relevant comment post

  43. Scout said on February 28, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    Jakash @ 34, that was exactly my thought process about the whole c-fck.

    Dear residents of Bug Tussle: “You all had the same choices we all had. You saddled the rest of us with misrule and disaster. Own it. I empathize, but I will not sympathize.”
    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a53491/regretful-trump-voters/

  44. Deborah said on February 28, 2017 at 3:46 pm

    Huh, I didn’t realize I’d wandered this far out of the liturgical bubble. I had no idea today was Fat Tuesday until I saw it on Facebook just now. I miss being in Chicago on this day for the Paczki. Can’t find it anywhere in Santa Fe, not surprisingly. I usually try to spend February but this year it wouldn’t have been half bad. My husband comes to NM in a couple of weeks during spring break, then we go back to Chicago where I’ll be until the second week in June. Looking forward to being in Chicago for a good long stretch of spring. My husband and I will then spend the summer in NM where it will be a lot less humid than the Midwest. Then fall in Chicago my favorite season.

  45. Deborah said on February 28, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    I meant to say I usually try to spend February away from Chicago…

  46. Joe K said on February 28, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    You guys crack me up, drift over to Ken Levins blog today, he is one funny guy I read and laugh every day when I read it, and he makes the rest of you look like conservatives, he’s the one that wondered about moonlighting, I was just passing it along.
    If the mistake was made with moonlight I would have thought the same thing I did about La,La, Land, huh Somebody made a mistake. The racist angle never crossed my mind.
    How come that’s the first thing you all thought of?
    Pilot Joe

  47. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 3:50 pm

    trump has made Jim Harbaugh mad: http://abovethelaw.com/2017/02/jim-harbaugh-is-going-after-donald-tump-over-legal-aid-funding-yes-thats-a-real-sentence/

  48. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    trump thinks Jews are behind the bomb threats to JCCs and destruction at Jewish cemeteries. Of course he does, and I’m sure Fox News will be happy to follow his lead. You ask when will trump supporters ever figure out that he’s not going to help them? Never, because he’ll always blame the right people.

  49. Peter said on February 28, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Sherri, I can see it now:

    “So called football coach Jim Harbaugh leading losing program falling out of top 25 – Doesn’t put catsup on steaks like me – Sad!”

  50. Deborah said on February 28, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    Sherri, reading that link about Harbough and Trump made me think of the old canard that the average adult male constantly carries around at least 5 lbs of undigested red meat in their colons. If it were true, it would kind of explain why Trump is so full of shit.

  51. Scout said on February 28, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    For the architecture buffs here. http://www.boredpanda.com/cement-factory-renovation-la-fabrica-ricardo-bofill/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=BPFacebook

  52. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    Of course Uber’s corporate culture is awful. Their founder/CEO is awful.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-02-28/in-video-uber-ceo-argues-with-driver-over-falling-fares

  53. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 6:39 pm

    Deborah, there are alternative nutrition programs that actually teach that canard. A friend of mine who teaches yoga took some six-month program from some “holistic health” place and now advertises herself as a nutrition consultant, told me that exact thing. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was nonsense and anatomically impossible, because I knew she was in a bad marriage and trying to earn enough money to get out of it. There are lots of personal trainers and yoga instructors who do “nutrition consulting” as a sideline, and much of what they know is crap. However, I try not to roll my eyes when they pitch it to me, and just tell them I want to stick to training. Most of them do no harm except to people’s wallets.

  54. Suzanne said on February 28, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    Why is that Sherri? It seems like every time I get motivated and start a yoga or fitness class, I get an earful of quack medicine along with my exercise. Chug a liter of water as soon as you get out of bed, get a tall toilet seat so your bowels are at a better angle to crap, and bone broth will cure anything from stinky farts to depression.
    It’s why I generally prefer to workout at home. Alone.

  55. Little Bird said on February 28, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    If the average man has that much undigested red meat in their colon, I completely understand why doctors recommend regular colonoscopies.

  56. alex said on February 28, 2017 at 8:40 pm

    Out having Fat Tuesday dinner listening to Nawlins Jazz at fave watering hole at crowded bar rail. Businessman, guessing out-of-towner, asks to plop down next to me. Asks me how’s the jambalaya, I say fine, he orders it. Wedding band but he’s looking at something on his iPhone that says “huge cock.” Meanwhile, two seats away is a gorgeous hunk of burning love who used to stare holes through me and made my partner so jjealous he all but accused me of having an affair, but tonight he’s enraptured with his iPhone.

    Tonigjt, however, enjoying chitchat with out-of-town merchandising rep from western Mich here to set up displays in big box home improvement stores.

  57. basset said on February 28, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    A colonoscopy or two I asked the dr. about the five pounds of waste, he said no and I figured he would know. If you have any doubts just drink a couple quarts of that nasty slimy stuff you take before a c-scope, you’ll be shitting your dentures out in a minute or so.

  58. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    The five pounds of undigested waste in your colon thing just doesn’t make sense, though I guess it’s a way of convincing yourself and others that a good clean out will lead to weight loss! What goes in, comes out, and if it doesn’t, it’s a medical emergency and intensely painful.

    I’m not sure why fitness pros are more susceptible to quack medicine than average, but fitness in general has been understudied and is prone to fads with little to no foundation behind them. Probably has to do with the close association with weight loss, another industry prone to fads with little to no foundation behind them.

  59. Deborah said on February 28, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    To keep myself from watching our horrible minority president give his idiotic speech tonight I went on OnDemand to see what Oscar movies I could find. I settled on Manchester By the Sea because it was the only one I could find that interested me. I don’t care if Casey Afleck is an asshole in his personal life (well I really do care) but damn, he was an excellent actor in that movie. It was depressing as hell, a tear jerker for sure, but just what I needed to keep me occupied for a while.

    Scout, I recently found photos of that former cement plant project too on an art blog I read regularly called Collasal. It is magnificent renovation, I particularly love the integration of the surrounding garden into the compound, wow. I went to the architect’s website and he has quite a bit of other good work. I had not heard of him before a few days ago. Also love, love, love the interiors. The furniture is exquisite.

  60. coozledad said on February 28, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Someone ought to track the rise of bullshit cures to the gathering expense of actual medical treatment. People will pursue options they can afford. I do it myself. Why not exhaust every option before you are just buying a doctor’s boat.

    I will fucking tell you, accupuncture doesn’t do shit for the deep anxiety of living in a fascist state

  61. alex said on February 28, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Fitness people sell quackery just the same as a lot of people in the mental health counseling profession. They’re there because they’re crazy people on their own quests for sanity and are trying to convince others that the bill of goods they’ve been sold is the last word. All I can say is don’t trust anyone who doesn’t deliver bad news — that it’s hard work and there’s no magic pill and either you decide you want to work for it or you don’t. The one who tells you you’re likely to give up and fail multiple times is the one who’s been there and knows.

  62. Sherri said on February 28, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Oh, sure, CBP is totally competent to ask and evaluate questions like these.

    http://www.recode.net/2017/2/28/14764064/nigerian-software-engineer-detained-by-us-customs

  63. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on February 28, 2017 at 11:29 pm

    But the seven years’ worth of gum you swallowed still in your stomach is true, right? My first grade teacher would never have lied to me.

  64. BItter Scribe said on February 28, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    Jeff: When I was in second grade, I was reading a Dr. Seuss book, don’t remember which one, but one of the lines was: “They’ll be so surprised they’ll all swallow their gum.”

    I hadn’t realized until then that you weren’t supposed to swallow gum.

    Who says Dr. Seuss isn’t educational?

  65. Sherri said on March 1, 2017 at 12:09 am

    Green Eggs and Ham is literary genius.

  66. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on March 1, 2017 at 8:14 am

    Blessings of Ash Wednesday to y’all. May the next 40 days and 6 Sundays bring some growing light and hope on your way.

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