In a perfect world, a story like this would have the same effect on j-school enrollment as the WashPost’s Watergate coverage, only in reverse. Slate answers the question no one is asking: Have Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver had any work done? Then they banner it on the home page, and when you actually read it, the answer is: Probably not. Four of six plastic surgeons think he’s untouched, and the same for his wife.

Well, that’s a relief.

Wait! No less an expert than Mark Steyn — he’s a conservative columnist, in case you’re checking credentials — says Maria looks the way she does because of “excessive dieting, a cosmetic surgery too far, and over-tanning.” Well, that’s a big relief, isn’t it?

Which reminds me: Unless you want to blow the rest of the afternoon in idleness, stay away from AwfulPlasticSurgery.com. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.