I’m busy and have no time and besides…I don’t know about you, but I’ve been soaking my pillow with tears all day over Rodney Dangerfield. Let Richard Avedon go worms; who cares? But Rodney! Oh I must weep again.
Mark Brunswick used to tell a Rodney joke: I sat down to tell my kid about the birds and the bees. He told me about my wife and the butcher.
Here are some more, from the NYT obit:
“I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, ‘I don’t know. There’s lots of places for them to hide.’ ”
“My fan club broke up. The guy died.”
“Last week my house was on fire. My wife told the kids, ‘Be quiet, you’ll wake up Daddy.’ ”
“I was ugly, very ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother.”
Leave your favorite Rodney joke in comments. And while we’re on the subject, Here’s Hank on Janet Leigh. Good stuff.
basset said on October 6, 2004 at 11:33 pm
No respect, no respect… I get no respect. My wife will only have sex with me once a month. Could be worse. I know guys she’s cut off entirely. No respect…
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james said on October 6, 2004 at 11:39 pm
De mortuis nil nisi bonum, I know. So, I’m sure Mr. Dangerfield was a fine fellow, and his family will miss him. As for his alleged talent, though … not something I could ever detect. I could be happy, laughing, and loving the whole world, but after five minutes of Mr. Dangerfield — time to go find some puppies to kick or cute kittens to strangle. Loud, stupid, and anti-funny.
There, I’ve said it. I am now an official Bad Person.
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Jack2 said on October 7, 2004 at 12:04 am
“My wife likes to talk after making love, so she calls me from the motel.” “Kids today, they’re so …, pretty soon they’ll be making birth control pills in the shape of Fred Flintstone.” “Kids today,…last week by kid was votes most likely to conceive.” Bye, Rodney
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Jack2 said on October 7, 2004 at 12:04 am
“My wife likes to talk after making love, so she calls me from the motel.” “Kids today, they’re so …, pretty soon they’ll be making birth control pills in the shape of Fred Flintstone.” “Kids today,…last week by kid was votes most likely to conceive.” Bye, Rodney
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Linda said on October 7, 2004 at 9:05 am
Well, James… I guess I am a bad person too. Sorry, but I just never cared for him. Such an angry man. I never liked Bob Hope, either, which I suppose makes me the anti-Christ.
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Mary said on October 7, 2004 at 11:05 am
I never liked Bob Hope either. For years in my household, one would announce one’s intention to turn on the TV news by saying, “Let’s see if Bob Hope died yet.”
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ashley said on October 7, 2004 at 1:39 pm
“We’re all gonna get laid!”
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ashley said on October 7, 2004 at 2:06 pm
When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right!
Last week I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
My wife gives great headache.
Would you like to go out tomorrow? I have class then. What about Friday? I have class then, too. Well, why don’t you call me when you have no class?
“Hey, that’s some hat. Did you get a free bowl of soup with it? Oh, on you it looks good, though.”
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Nance said on October 7, 2004 at 3:32 pm
Anyone who hates Bob Hope is a friend of mine.
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Mindy said on October 7, 2004 at 4:37 pm
Oh, how surprising and delightful to find so many wonderful people devoted to hating Bob Hope. Thought I was the only one. There are few things in life worse than those dreadful “Road to” movies, agreed?
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ashley said on October 7, 2004 at 8:01 pm
Jeez, this veered into an “I hate Bob Hope” thread?
Well, who doesn’t?
Fortunately, the memories my generation have of him typically consist solely of those Christmas Specials. That, and USO shows. Was there anything more lecherous, ever, than watching this geezer drool all over Brooke Shields?
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Mary said on October 7, 2004 at 8:18 pm
When Bob Hope finally did die, the locals here changed the name of Burbank Airport to Bob Hope Airport. There already was a Bob Hope Drive in the vicinity, near the NBC studios. I guess not everyone hated him.
I remember him being all drooly-creepy with Brooke Shields. Mostly I recall his Vietnam era Christmas shows with Joey Heatherton and the Golddiggers. Lots of white go-go boots and teased hair onstage.
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Nance said on October 7, 2004 at 8:31 pm
Yeah, he was the classic generation disconnect performer, after Sinatra. Our parents loved Sinatra; we thought he was a sleazy mobster Johnny Fontane type. Later we grew up and realized we were wrong. But Bob Hope — we were right about that one.
My fave old-comedian line was George Burns’: “I’m so old I don’t even buy green bananas.”
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Dick Walker said on October 8, 2004 at 1:33 pm
Rodney Dangerfield:
I was not breast-fed. My mother said she just wanted to be friends.
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ashley said on October 10, 2004 at 1:20 pm
Personally, I think that one of Rodney’s greatest contributions was his annual HBO Young Comedians Special. He had the cojones to actually put Sam Kinison on television. Amen.
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mark said on October 11, 2004 at 5:59 pm
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my wife, and there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for me. Together, we’ve done nothing for each other for years…
“
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Kirk said on October 12, 2004 at 2:47 pm
“My wife’s so big that, when she sits around the house, she sits a-round the house!”
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