I are not dead.

But the Comcast tech-support staff may be, when I get finished with them. Yes, folks, we finally got our cable fixed. But in the great tradition of, well, me and Comcast High-Speed Internet, that…isn’t fixed. In fact, it’s totally screwed, and I simply cannot face another call to the tech staff, so I can say YES I reset the modem and YES I checked the connections and YES YES YES I know it isn’t a problem in the rest of the neighborhood and yes i said yes i will yes.

Also, I’ve been traveling.

Regular readers know my two Big Fears (as opposed to the ones everyone has — death of children, etc.). They are? Heights and falling. So where did I go last week with Kate and her friend Sophia? Cedar Point! I conquered my fear on a couple of wussy rides, but my knuckles are still white and I repeated “don’t panic” like a mantra. Needless to say, I didn’t try the Top Thrill Dragster, a ride that threatens my bladder control just looking at it. The night previous to our arrival, the dragster failed to crest the hill — click on the link, you’ll get the idea — and sped back into the station in reverse. As my friend Mike Harden says, only in an amusement park do we pay through the nose for an experience that, were it to happen outside the gates, would be the basis for a sizable lawsuite.

Big frustration of Panerablogging — not once but twice in the last week, people I know personally were featured in the New York Times, and for some reason I can’t summon the pages for either. Sorry, Laura Lippman. Sorry, Zach Klein. I drop your names just the same.

And I’m off to do battle with Comcast. Photos later.

Posted at 7:41 pm in Uncategorized |

23 responses to “I are not dead.”

  1. Robert Rouse said on July 30, 2005 at 10:03 pm

    The top ten reasons I wish the Comcast product sucked enough to get rid of it (in other words: I like Comcast . . . but not their customer service).

    10. No Bravo channel

    9. Waiting to speak to a real live person on the phone.

    8. Going through the pre-recorded instructions and trying to figure out which number to psuh.

    7. The price of having every single option they offered to my wife.

    6. Sitting through all the “Design on a Dime” shows my wife recorded on the DVR.

    5. Discovering there’s not enough room left on the DVR to record “The Daily Show”.

    4. The seemingly miles of cable I see when looking at the ceiling of our unfinished basement.

    3. Frustrating downtime after a bad thunderstorm.

    2. The lack of a High Definition channel for Fox and ABC.

    And the number 1 reason I wish the Comcast product sucked enough to get rid of it . . . It still has Fox News Channel.

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  2. alex said on July 31, 2005 at 3:10 am

    Fox News Channel… speaking of which…

    My folks seem to have it on in their house all the time now. They trash it for its absurd screamin’ meemie talk shows and sports play-by-play method of delivering things other than sports, but the goddamn shit’s on it seems like every time I walk into their goddamn house.

    And they’re so transparently right-wing I get really pissed when anyone tells me I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. Like today. Big graphic thing going on, picture of Chelsea Clinton, caption something like this: A Kenyan tribal chief offered a dowry to Chelsea Clinton: 20 goats and 40 chickens. How much is that worth in U.S. dollars?

    Big yucks going on south of the Mason Dixon, fer sher, and probably about half that here in Hoosiertucky. And people think this is “fair and balanced” just ‘cuz “fair and balanced” has been trademarked?

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  3. Claire said on July 31, 2005 at 10:28 pm

    We switched from Comcast to Wideopenwest and have never regretted it.

    I’m with you on the amusement park ride thing!

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  4. MIndy said on August 1, 2005 at 8:17 am

    I’m feelin’ your pain, Alex. My mother lives alone and has Fox News blaring from three TVs at any given moment. When I’m visiting, I have to ask her to at least turn down the volume so my nose stops bleeding. Despite having had The O’Reilly Factor on intravenous drip for countless months, this weekend she arrived at the airport LESS THAN AN HOUR before her flight was to leave and actually packed SCISSORS in her carry-on bag. So a lot of damn good any of the “reporting” does in her case. I’ll spare you details of her Dubya worship; it’s the main reason she loves Fox News and my lame excuse for not going to visit very often.

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  5. Juno said on August 1, 2005 at 11:14 am

    Can you get DSL through your phone company? Because after 3 years of comcast-induced homicidal rage, service calls ending with the words “you need the line crew” (who never came, only another man to check the same things and tell me I needed a line crew), missed work for service men who never came…I still get a bit worked up, my apologies…I switched to DSL, which took 11 seconds to set up, has never so much as flickered off, and is not discernibly different in speed in any way visible to the user.

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  6. mary said on August 1, 2005 at 11:22 am

    Amen, Juno. My DSL line is wonderful. Between that and my satellite dish, life is somewhat easier. At least on the techie front.

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  7. mary said on August 1, 2005 at 11:24 am

    Nance, I hope you have your cable service going in time to catch the recaps of the last two SFUs on Friday. You’ve missed a pretty crucial plot development.

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  8. Lucy said on August 1, 2005 at 3:19 pm

    I’m so out of the loop — what is “SFU”?

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  9. mary said on August 1, 2005 at 3:25 pm

    Six Feet Under.

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  10. Dorothy said on August 1, 2005 at 4:36 pm

    Oh Mary I was out of town this weekend and got back too late to see SFU last night. Good thing we get all of the HBO channels – I’ll tape it tonight at 10 PM (I think that is when it’s on). It’s mighty tempting to go read the synopsis on HBO.com, though…

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  11. Carmella said on August 1, 2005 at 4:58 pm


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  12. chris said on August 1, 2005 at 9:25 pm

    Last word on pit bulls:

    During the early part of the last century, pit bulls (really a misnomer since there is no breed called a �pit bull�) were very popular in this country as companions. (Go on ebay sometime and search �pit bull photo.� You�ll see lots of turn of the century photos � kids and pit bulls – where clearly the dog was a beloved part of the family.) Their popularity became their downfall. The strong build and impressive looks of these dogs have made them popular status symbols with the wrong type of owners: predominately under or uneducated males, who use these beautiful dogs not only as status symbols, but train them to become weapons. Pitbulls are often misused, abused and neglected. They are a very misunderstood breed.

    Brian says, �Laws get passed which annoy responsible people.� Precisely. Laws that fail to target the problem: bad dog owners.

    I have been around dogs all my life. I have been bitten twice. Once, 40 years ago, by a Collie. Result: no harm (and my parents didn�t even call for �death to all Collies�!). Recently, in my work with rescued dogs, I was bitten by an aggressive little mix-breed mutt, under 20 pounds. Result: 18 stitches in my face. My encounters with pit bulls: lots of slobbering dog kisses.

    Any breed has the capability of hurting or killing, not just the �pit bull.� (Most rescue centers I know will NOT place a small dog with a family with children because they know that, more often than not, the child is a danger to the dog and not vice-versa.)

    I�m reminded about a story I read recently about a (human) kid, around age 7, who admited smothering his new baby sister to death because the new baby got all the attention and he was jealous. I haven’t yet heard a call for the preemptive �offing� of nasty 7-year-olds. Although . . .

    Carmella�s (Sopranos infatuation?) uneducated comments are just not worth responding to � just sayin�.

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  13. Dorothy said on August 1, 2005 at 10:03 pm

    Hey Chris – lots of women were named Carmella before the Sopranos were even a dream in the mind of the writer. You shouldn’t assume she chose it as a nickname. My dad named me after a nun he had in school years ago – he did not have an infatuation with The Wizard of Oz.

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  14. brian stouder said on August 1, 2005 at 11:08 pm

    “he did not have an infatuation with The Wizard of Oz.”

    Well – to be honest, I do!!

    And in fact, everytime I see a post from you, Dorothy, I picture a very beautful woman with a winning smile, an alluringly innocent voice, and snappy shoes.


    Wizard of Oz = all that Hollywood can be – for better and for worse

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  15. Dorothy said on August 2, 2005 at 7:56 am

    That’s funny Brian. Thanks for the smiles your comments provided this morning. I sort of wish my name did come from the movie. The nun my dad had was actually Sister Dorthea, so I’m grateful as hell I did not get THAT moniker.

    I used to dislike my name, because every woman I met with this name is much older than me, so it’s a generational thing. However now I like the uniqueness of it. My family calls me Dorth, and my husband calls me Ace. After he first started calling me that, I finally asked him WHY he calls me Ace. It seems so masculine! He replied “‘Cause it means the best and you are the best.” I said “Oh, okay, you can call me that!”

    I bought some new stripe-y sandals last weekend. They aren’t ruby slippers, but they are definitely “snappy”! Maybe I’ll take a picture of them and post them on flickr.com with my other pics!

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  16. mary said on August 2, 2005 at 10:18 am

    Nance’s battle with Comcast seems to be taking a while. I can’t wait for the photos. I wonder if she’s battling the guys who come out to the house and accomplish nothing or the guys who put you on hold for forty minutes. The latter would likely not make for very interesting photos.

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  17. Connie said on August 2, 2005 at 10:35 am

    Guess I am in the minority, as I am a happy Comcast customer. With Bravo, Robert. And Alex, it’s not Hoosiertucky, it’s Indiucky. And my Comcast bill is huge, for digital with HBO, (haven’t watched the last 4 eps of 6FU, but have them Tivo’d and read the spoilers already)plus broadband, plus 2 DVR (Tivo boxes.)

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  18. Nance said on August 2, 2005 at 11:18 am

    Actually, the battle has been won! As usual, it took a visit to the Apple store, but, fortunately, no major purchases. I have, however, a rather busy day, complicated in part by an impulsive night out last night that featured a wee bit too much alcohol. Only a wee bit too much, but I’m movin’ slow and it’s a busy day. I should have something new up tonight.

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  19. brian stouder said on August 2, 2005 at 11:34 am

    “I bought some new stripe-y sandals last weekend. They aren’t ruby slippers, but they are definitely “snappy”! Maybe I’ll take a picture of them and post them on flickr.com with my other pics!”

    Well, not to sound like one of those creepy fellows who somehow made the leap from loitering on park benches to loitering on the internet –

    that sounds Marvelous! I haven’t peeked in at the Flickr thing since Nance first added it – but the prospect of snappy footwear will certainly draw me!

    As for Nance’s Comcast trouble, we do the old fashioned dial-up internet thing. True enough, it is slow (usually about 48kb instead of the promised 56) – but so what? We don’t download or upload things very often at all – usually we only do e-mail and access blogs (like this one) and therefore don’t need the speed. Plus – we have a bit of ‘passive security’, since anyone who wants to hack us has to deal with our slow connection, too – sort of like speed bumps in the mall parking lot to slow down (and ward off) the chuckle-heads.

    We dumped Comcast cable tv ages ago (at least a decade) and went to Dish – which costs much much less and delivers much much more, even to this day.

    The Promised Land, to me anyway, would be a Combined Package of TV/cell phone/internet that costs less than our current combination of three different suppliers…but we’ll see

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  20. mary said on August 2, 2005 at 12:10 pm

    I’m almost in promised land. Cingular/SBC does my internet, cell phone and home phone. They have TV, but I’m really happy with my Direct TV service. Cingular is giving me a nice deal on the DSL line and my phone deals are acceptable. Especially the land line which I use for work. Overall I don’t have any complaints now that the transition from ATT to Cingular/SBC seems to have settled down. It was ugly for a little while when they were sorting through that stuff.

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  21. Dorothy said on August 2, 2005 at 1:06 pm

    “Well, not to sound like one of those creepy fellows who somehow made the leap from loitering on park benches to loitering on the internet – ”

    Okay Brian – home on my lunch hour and I posted a picture just for you!

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  22. brian stouder said on August 2, 2005 at 1:17 pm

    Very cool, Dorothy!

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  23. chris said on August 2, 2005 at 4:35 pm


    So sorry your father had an infatuation with nuns. Better that than priests … I guess.

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