I think I may have found a job that fits my current station in life. From Craigslist:
We are in need of 1 Sleep Tech Supervisor. You will be in charge of watching 3-5 people sleep a night, making sure all equipment is running properly and that our clients have no troubles.
This job is stress-free and requires little to no work. If you like working midnights and you like full benefits, then this is the job for you!! Your supervisor office will be equipped with a computer with full internet access along with a TV with cable, so that you’re not bored out of your mind.
Our packages include full health, dental, 401k, and paid vacation and holidays.
Hours are M-F 8 p.m – 6 a.m., every other friday off. Starting pay is $13.
Mine’s not bad, though, although it’s free of many other things — a decent salary, most obviously. A salary, period. But penury is a powerful goad, and I’ve actually been getting some work done. Oh, the joys of a home office. This afternoon I watched out the window while a flock of grackles descended on our little green acre and looted the place of edibles before moving on. The dog and I strolled out in it and considered the change in the light — distinctly autumnal, clearer, at a sharper angle in the afternoon. Watch it slip away, get all melancholy…and then come back inside to thoroughly enjoy the paper.
Well, “enjoy” probably isn’t the word for this story, about a hearing over a proposed Wal-Mart, although the objections raised weren’t the usual ones:
During public meetings in August where about 500 residents came out to hear plans for the store, several opponents of the project — which would replace retail areas at the old Wonderland Mall — repeatedly peppered the air with racially tinged comments. They include fears about black people from Detroit coming to Livonia to shop and work, and the suggestion that Livonia would become a ghetto.
Huh. In the fullness of time, I’ve come to prefer come-right-out-and-say-it racists to the speak-in-code-words racists. So there’s something to recommend Livonia’s Wal-Mart objectors, right there.
But I did enjoy this story, detailing “an influx of upscale prostitutes” to one of Detroit’s strolls. To me, an “upscale” prostitute is Jane Fonda in “Klute” — works on outcall only, keeps an appointment book, dresses nice. Not in Detroit:
The out-of-towners stand out from local prostitutes in big ways, law enforcement officials say: First, they dress glitzier, earning the nickname Hollywood hookers from some deputies. Second, they are less likely to be hooked on drugs. Law enforcement officials say addictions lead many local prostitutes to the streets. There’s a price difference, too: The out-of-state prostitutes charge more and can earn up to $1,000 a night. Local prostitutes sometimes earn just enough to get their next drug fix, Sutton said.
And these girls walk the streets with the $20 crack whores. I guess it’s all in the comparison, eh?
Maybe they should find work at sleep techs. The pay’s a little bit of a comedown, but the hours are comparable and you stay out of the bed. That’s gotta count for something.