You call that cute?

Like most mothers, when I saw the photos of Suri Cruise, I had one immediate thought: “Eh, cute kid, but my baby was far, far cuter.”

And I have evidence:


Here’s Kate at the same age Suri is now. Note her superior cuteness in every way. And the photo wasn’t taken by a world-famous photographer, but by me.

A bonus, to underline her staggering cuteosity:


When I used to walk both her and the dog at the same time, sometimes we would literally stop traffic. I had to fend off Hollywood agents waving million-dollar contracts promising to make her the next Welch’s grape juice child. (“As if,” I’d tell them. “Call me when you have Scorsese ready to deal.”)

You know what gets me? All this talk about her hair. As you can see, Kate was born with a ton of hair. That was the first thing anyone said about her: The nurse peered up my ya-ya and said, “Wow. That’s a lot of hair. (pause) On the baby.” Well, that was nice to know. And it was. Hair on a baby makes for extra cuteness. Welcome to the world, Suri. We’re not sure about your parents and the world is crazy, but hey, you’ll always have those photos.

(Thanks to J.C. for digging these up using his mad metadata skillz. My only digital copy of these photos was on a damn floppy.)

Posted at 1:16 am in Popculch |

17 responses to “You call that cute?”

  1. Dorothy said on September 8, 2006 at 7:25 am

    No doubt about it – Kate is MUCH cuter than Suri!

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  2. brian stouder said on September 8, 2006 at 8:50 am

    Yes, she is!

    Our youngest daughter Chloe, who is 2, only just now has enough hair accumulated to make a curl or two on the back part of her head… and of course she is beautiful (really, she transforms every picture she’s in – eating spaghetti, playing with the cat, examining a toy – into masterpieces of art…at least to her parents!)

    By way of saying, sometimes less is indeed more

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  3. Emma said on September 8, 2006 at 9:01 am

    Suri Cruise is wearing a baby wig.

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  4. Connie said on September 8, 2006 at 9:39 am

    There are very wierd rumors on the internet regarding who Suri’s REAL father is. Not that I care.

    My blonde daughter was born with a bushy head of black hair. My friends made fun of me (I am/was blonde) when I kept saying I could see blonde peach fuzz coming in underneath.

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  5. Julie said on September 8, 2006 at 10:19 am

    My niece was born w/ an amazing head of dark hair. When people later saw pictures of her at only a few weeks old, they couldn’t believe she was only a few weeks old.

    I, on the other hand, very little hair until I was about two, and my sister had very little hair until she was almost three. A cousin who saw a picture of her taken wearing only a diaper at that time reported that he had seen seen “a picture of Barb when she was a little boy.” Fortunately, our extraordinary cuteness made up for our early lack of golden tresses, which we did, eventually, acquire–much to the delight of my mother who took preternatural pride in our naturally curly hair.

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  6. mary said on September 8, 2006 at 10:43 am

    I think Suri has implants like her dad. Teensy kiddie sized hair plugs.
    Older son Tom had dark hair that all fell out, replaced by lovely blond hair. He looked like a precious moments figurine for a period of his life. Luckily, he outgrew this.

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  7. ellent said on September 8, 2006 at 11:37 am

    All 3 of mine were born with full heads of beautiful brown hair. And head-type hair on the tops of their ears! (which either fell out or migrated to their heads as they grew) The middle one’s hair grew in like Giuliani’s combover by 3 mos, since his natural part was somewhere down by his left ear. First haircut: 15 wks.

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  8. Dorothy said on September 8, 2006 at 11:40 am

    My son was pretty bald, but my daughter had lots of dark hair, which eventually became sort of dirty blonde, and then brown, and then turned very curly once she hit middle school age. She gets the curls from her dad.

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  9. Dorothy said on September 8, 2006 at 11:41 am

    I forgot to mention I’m on vacation next week. Don’t have too much fun without me!

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  10. Danny said on September 8, 2006 at 11:52 am

    Dot, have fun. Hope your going somewhere good.

    Oh, and you might want to let us know your address so we can keep an eye on things and make sure no one TP’s your house.

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  11. Danny said on September 8, 2006 at 11:54 am

    Does Tom Cruise have hair plugs? Doesn’t look like it, but I’ve only seen it on people where it is obvious and it looks bad. I just figured they always looked bad.

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  12. mary said on September 8, 2006 at 12:21 pm

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  13. nancy said on September 8, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    I knew a guy in Fort Wayne whose children were born at home. The midwife made him and his wife go through extra-strength childbirth education, but he said it all deserted him when he saw the child’s head emerging. He was standing over her, looking down. Like most kids, the baby was positioned face-down. The head squirted out, and he exclaimed, OH MY GOD, IT DOESN’T HAVE A FACE, which made his wife nearly faint and got the midwife all pissed off.

    Fortunately, mere seconds passed before the rest of the kid popped out and everyone could hear it cry, proof that at least it had a mouth.

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  14. MichaelG said on September 8, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    When I was born my hair was white. Then it became blonde. Now it’s turned white again. How does that happen?

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  15. brian stouder said on September 8, 2006 at 1:16 pm

    I was in the room at the hospital for the birth of each of my children except for my oldest son (he came into the world via C-section), and I resolutely DID NOT LOOK!!!

    They had retractable mirrors in the ceiling, and Pammy also opted not to look.

    But in each case, the doctor insisted that I cut the umbilical cord, and in each case I made the same lame joke, asking how much of a deduction from the bill that would entitle us to….

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  16. Dorothy said on September 8, 2006 at 2:05 pm

    Michael G at least you don’t have the problem my dad had. And he made up a joke (or at least I thought he made it up) to describe his folical situation:

    My hair used to be wavy. Now it’s wavin’ good-bye!

    (I’ll get back to ya on the address thing, Danny!)

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  17. mary said on September 13, 2006 at 11:18 am

    You know what’s really nice about that second photo of Kate? The very masculine forearm contrasted with the baby, framed by the soft pink toy on the right. Really good.

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