I don’t know about you, but this happens to me all the time — I’m going out, I think I look to-tally hawt, I open the door, photographers raise their cameras to capture the moment, and dang, I forgot my pants, AND my panties, yet again.
The best part of that story? Where it describes Britney’s “ample bottom.” I just like to say that phrase for fun. Our friends across the pond speak the same language, but so much more skillfully.
Sorry for launching today with a Britney Spears ample-bottom item. The Committee started at 7 a.m., directly across from my bedroom window. Today is the day the teacher assignments arrive by mail, which means the phone will ring nonstop from 10 a.m. until mid-afternoon, as the entire incoming fifth-grade class calls to triangulate their first-day outfits. (Last year we were out when they arrived. Came home to find the phone blinking: “You have…seven…new messages.”) I have to work my special kind of magic on four separate stories today, and none of this is helping. Why Nance, you’re saying, it sounds like you’re setting us up for another four-paragraph link dump. Not exactly. I’m just grumpy.
Actually, I was thinking about Larry Craig again, as much as I’d like to put him from my mind. I was thinking back a few years, when conservatives were simmering with anger over where Bill Clinton was putting his dousing stick, and claiming that, because of him, they had to explain oral sex to their children, who then went right out and practiced on one another. Well. Because of Larry Craig, I now know more about foot-tapping signals and wide stances than I ever, ever wanted to know, and I’m a gay-friendly sort of gal. Can I blame this on Craig? Because I want to.
Best rejoinder to the Clinton-made-my-kid-do-it line, from Roy: If he really is responsible for a rise in oral sex, I vote we put him on Mount Rushmore. Of course, this was after a conservative tried to blame Clinton for an increase in mouth cancer. Please.
Final word on the subject: A clip from Little Britain, which I’ve never heard of but perhaps should have. Via TPM.
So now, bloggage:
Who says Republicans can’t smile in this difficult time: Karl Rove’s ride, pimped. It’s a little juvenile — i.e., entirely in keeping with the White-House-as-frat-house culture of the capital these days — but at least no nations were invaded.
Jeez, let’s cut this mudbath short, eh? The clanking outside is making me INSANE. Better to go run bike errands and get it out of my system.
Danny said on August 30, 2007 at 9:49 am
Brits speak the same language, but so much more skillfully.
I had to reread that line. At first I thought you were saying that “Brit speaks the same language, but so much more skillfully.” The only pop-culture “Brit” to which that could apply is Brit Hume. Maybe.
NANCE: You’re right. I’m fixing it.
brian stouder said on August 30, 2007 at 10:09 am
I liked “exposed, dimpled bottom”
and the fact that her car ran out of gas begs for a limmerick (since we’ve done haiku)
my slap-dash attempt –
There once was a chaotic blonde lass
quite proud of her ample dimpled ass
and with custody litigation pending
and bad publicity trending
she simply ran out of gas
LA Mary said on August 30, 2007 at 10:13 am
Little Britain is a wonderfully tasteless show. You need to make an effort to catch it. How perfect was that clip, eh?
leslie said on August 30, 2007 at 10:25 am
What with all the bathroom trysts and bare bottoms, I confess I love the news again. So much more fun than that boring war.
brian stouder said on August 30, 2007 at 10:43 am
non-sequitur, because of the title of this post
the fellows and I played this game on Saturday, and it was great! Lots of tacking and so on, although we didn’t do collisions
John said on August 30, 2007 at 11:37 am
I’m not a big Britney fan, but having said that, if she can get that cheeky “fashion” style to take off (pun intended), then she needs to be put up on Mount Rushmore next to Slick Willy!
Cathy D. said on August 30, 2007 at 12:01 pm
And don’t forget that celebrity suicide attempt, sure to inspire droves of copycats»
MaryC said on August 30, 2007 at 2:00 pm
The funniest thing about the Little Britain clip – the “wife” is a man.
I’m not sure who’s who but I think the husband in this scene is David Walliams and the wife is Matt Lucas. Lucas plays a lot of the show’s recurring characters in drag.
Jolene said on August 30, 2007 at 3:58 pm
That Mt. Rushmore line is too funny. As for Britney’s bottom, my goodness. Kids these days. Whoops, forgot she’s not the kid in those pictures.
As I write this, I am listening to the tape of Larry Craig’s conversation w/ the police officer who arrested him.
I am finding out more than I need to know about people’s nether regions and what they do with them.
So, I’m off for now. Hope the Committee has concluded its meeting by now, Nancy.
brian stouder said on August 31, 2007 at 8:12 am
Looks like a few others have their asses hanging out over the line
Mrs. Clinton appeared with Mr. Spitzer yesterday at an event in Manhattan, where she made her first public comments on the matter, saying revelations of Mr. Hsu’s past criminal problems were “a big surprise to everybody.”
Mr. Hsu’s rapid fall was precipitated this week when the California attorney general’s office said there was an outstanding bench warrant for his arrest dating from 1992. Mr. Hsu was facing up to three years in prison after pleading no contest to a charge that he had defrauded investors, but he skipped out on a court appearance and was never seen again.
note: “never seen again”?? What? The Democrats seemed quite able to find him, or vice-versa…
At a new loft-style residential condominium in SoHo that was also listed as an address for one of his companies, an employee there said that he had never seen or heard of Mr. Hsu. Another company was listed at a condo that Mr. Hsu had sublet in an elegant residential tower in Midtown Manhattan just off Fifth Avenue, but an employee there said Mr. Hsu moved out two years ago, after having lived there for five years. The employee, who was granted anonymity because he was not authorized to talk about residents, said he recalled that Mr. Hsu had received a lot of mail from the Democratic Party.
Danny said on August 31, 2007 at 9:48 am
Yeah, Brian, sad as it is I don’t even blink and eye at this sort of thing anymore. I doubt this will be a problem for Hillary either. Plus, I think she already stated she will give the money back.
LA Mary said on August 31, 2007 at 11:24 am
She’s giving the money to charity I think.
Danny said on August 31, 2007 at 11:30 am
Yeah, that probably makes more sense. I think I remember a few other pols having to do the same in the past year or so.
Danny said on August 31, 2007 at 11:32 am
Yo, Nance. Where’s our post. Whadda think with the three-day weekend you’ll just slide on out early?
Peter said on August 31, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Danny, Preach Preacher! I need my NN fix!