(Please, hit “play” before you start reading. It’s important for the overall effect.)
Ssh. The mayor’s chief of staff is sending him love notes. Let’s listen in:
“I still want to be in your arms, kiss you, hug you, love you. Wishing you were my husband.”
…”I have wanted to hold you so badly all day, but I was trying to stay focused on work. …I’m in my office. Do you want me to come to yours or you coming to mine?”
…”This is one of those little things I just had to tell you. Last night when I was laying on your shoulder in the car and you held my face and sang whatever song it was, that felt so good. It was just one of those little moments when you just made me fall some more!”
… “Just FYI now that I’m tipsy and will say anything: one thing that is sticking with me from Saturday was when I asked you why it felt so good, and you told me because I was your lady, that for whatever reason, was something that stayed with me real strong! Crazy, huh?”
…”In case you haven’t noticed, I’m madly in love with you too! More and more everyday! I can’t believe how much more it grows. Is there a limit?”
As Laura Berman points out, the mayor’s responses were somewhat, er, less ardent:
“Damn! Thank you!”
She says she wishes he’d be “her husband.” He replies that she’ll always be “my girl.” Hmm.
Yes, the city was abuzz yesterday, and it wasn’t from everyone’s phone being set to vibrate. The text-message scandal, which was first about sex and then about bid-rigging and then about perjury, swung back to sex in a big way. Both papers posted the once-was-lost, now-is-recovered secret document, the one that, when presented to Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick’s lawyers last fall near the conclusion of a whistle-blower lawsuit, caused them to shit their pants and open the city’s wallet. For a while, you kept getting Server Busy/Try Again messages on the website, but sooner or later, anyone could get the gist — this was the oldest story in the world, played out on the latest technology. Cross my heart — the Fox anchor read the phrase “good head” on the 10 p.m. news, although they bleeped “head.” (She said she wanted to give him some, but didn’t know how to ask permission. He replied that — duh — she didn’t need it.)
A little titillation’s a dangerous thing. If this scandal starts being about sex again, Kwame wins. Because everyone has a sexual skeleton in their closet, and everyone thinks there-but-for-the-grace-of-God, etc. When, at its heart, this story is about malfeasance in public office, not to mention criminal stupidity. Once again: Didn’t anyone in this administration have a lick of discretion? Hasn’t anyone seen a Mafia movie? Doesn’t anyone understand that some things you just don’t commit to paper or e-paper?
And finally, who can write this much with their thumbs? (These were two-way text pagers, with QWERTY keyboards, but tiny ones, for thumb-typers only.) I mean, why write “good head” when “bj” has only two letters?
Pfft. OK, you can turn Billy Paul off now. (Unless you, like me, are sort of enjoying the groove. Love a good cheatin’ song.)
No bloggage today, folks. I’m under three deadline guns at the moment. Oh, wait — there’s this, thanks to Moe in the comments previous. Now that the Texas funda-crazy story is reaching the wait-did-we-perhaps-act-too-rashly phase, it’s useful to read and remember: These people don’t deserve to have dogs, much less children.