Dumb and dumbererer.

Joe the Plumber shows his crack:

“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I-I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer–and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers. I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, ‘Well look at this atrocity,’ well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.”

Sarah Palin makes moose jerky:

“I did see that Tina Fey was named entertainer of the year and Katie Couric’s ratings have risen. And I know that a lot of people are capitalizing on, oh I don’t know, perhaps some exploiting that was done via me, my family, my administration. That’s a little bit perplexing, but it also says a great deal about our society.”

I know people frequently fall apart when a microphone is on. I know not everyone is glib and polished and can reel off coherent sentences with subject-verb agreement at the drop of a hat. I know the rest of the world hears people like Palin and Plumber and thinks, “why, they’re just like me” and that anyone who would say otherwise is an elitist. OK. I’m an elitist. I’m old-fashioned enough to think the ability to express yourself clearly, on the page and in spoken words, is a basic skill everyone should have. But how is it possible that an adult who doesn’t have a gym membership is seen as lazy and unserious, but an adult who hasn’t read a book in the past year is simply busy and hard-working?

Palin is one of those public speakers who thinks extra syllables = extra smart. I know that a lot of people are capitalizing on, oh I don’t know, perhaps some exploiting that was done via me, my family, my administration. Remember the “use fewer words” resolution? Let’s see if we can boil this down, eh? [Cartoon device lowers over sentence, lights flash, smoke puffs. Device lifts.] “I was exploited.” See how easy?

Joe we can’t help. He’s just a moron.

Much work to do today — starting with shoveling snow, quel surprise — and not enough time to do it. So just a bit of bloggage:

Via Defamer, “Marley & Me” spoilers for those dim enough to not have figured out the ending.

After the Golden Globes I keep hearing that Mickey Rourke’s face is the result of his ill-starred boxing career. You know: He earned that face in the ring. Oh, I don’t think so. This man is a plastic surgery addict.

Hey, California! Join the club! Love, Michigan.

Off to fire up the snowblower. Today’s predicted temperature drop: 25 degrees. Groan.

Posted at 9:42 am in Current events, Movies |

53 responses to “Dumb and dumbererer.”

  1. Connie said on January 13, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Worst part of my job: being the person who calls a snow day. When the forecasts predict bad weather, the staff starts asking: “Can we have a snow day tomorrow? Can we? Can we please?”

    And there I sit in my little rural subdivision, where the streets rarely get plowed before 4 p.m., trying to decide.

    I love snow days, always a great day for baking bread. But much as I would like to, I don’t call them for my own benefit.

    Forecasts for the next several days just show it getting worse and worse, including words like blizzard warning and below zero.

    Maybe we should all stay home.

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  2. coozledad said on January 13, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Not to worry. Tito the builder is heading over to Gaza, to”get Joe the Plumber’s back”. Why don’t they just throw in Paulie Shore, Carrot Top, and Gallagher to show Palestinians what America’s all about.

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  3. Jeff Borden said on January 13, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Don’t forget Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Denise Richardson. Untalented women need work, too.

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  4. coozledad said on January 13, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Jeff: It couldn’t hurt. If they throw in John Cornyn they’re well on their way to a kind of Village People of dumbassery.

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  5. Jen said on January 13, 2009 at 10:39 am

    Many of my friends work in school systems, and they love to whine when they think they’re going to get a snow day (or at least at two-hour delay) and then they have to go to school after all. Meanwhile, I’m creeping my way into work at 6:30 a.m. come hell or high water (or a blizzard, which we are supposed to get tomorrow). It’s really, really hard to muster sympathy for their plight: having to go to work and do their job when the weather is less than ideal.

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  6. Gasman said on January 13, 2009 at 10:40 am

    Every politician who spends every waking hour in front of microphones is going to make at least an occasional verbal gaffe. All that emerges from Palin’s mouth are verbal gaffes. She has not said anything sensible since erupting, pustule-like, onto the national scene. I used to think that she was merely intellectually lazy. However, with her unending barrages of verbal idiocy I am convinced that she is congenitally stupid.

    It is quite clear that Alaskans set the professional, ethical, and intellectual bars very low for their elected officials and merely attaining one of these offices should not be viewed as qualification for a position of national prominence. It is also equally clear that Palin’s rise to her exalted position is due to the single arrow in her quiver: her “Aw shucks” routine which comprises folksy winks and nods to the ladies and flirting with the men. The woman is a moron.

    For those few Palinites amongst us, please, please, PLEASE make her your choice for the presidential nominee of the Republican Party in 2012! I will contribute to her campaign. The Rs have finally found someone of their own that is W’s intellectual equal.

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  7. del said on January 13, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Palin’s greatest talent is her wink and smile. Which reminds me of the best caption in the Mickey Rourke slideshow — beneath a photo of him winking: “Don’t wink, Mickey Rourke.”

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  8. moe99 said on January 13, 2009 at 11:33 am

    The best part of amazon.com is the customer reviews:


    and before we get carried away about who’s worse, JTP or Palin, don’t forget they have learned at the feet of the Master:

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  9. Rana said on January 13, 2009 at 11:54 am

    Jen, it works the other way too. I finally figured out why so much of the country thinks that California is the land of flakes when I experienced my first sunny day in Minnesota after a long winter. Everyone blew off work and played hooky. Ohhhh, I thought. They think that it’s like this every day in California. Nope. If you think that a sunny day is enough to justify taking off from work, you’re going to get fired.

    Normally I don’t like spoilers – I even tend to hate trailers (especially the ones that excerpt all the good bits) – but I’m sourly amused by this one, because I’ve hated the whole “Marley” thing since the book came out. The thought of watching a large, poorly disciplined animal misbehave and wreak havoc on innocent bystanders while sitting in an audience of people who find this “cute” and “adorable” makes my hair curl. Maybe now that it’s “spoiled” it will die the death it needs to.

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  10. Colleen said on January 13, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Why is anyone listening to anything Joe the Plumber has to say? Really.

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  11. Rana said on January 13, 2009 at 1:05 pm

    I think it’s one of those self-replicating loops. He’s on tv, so he must have something to say, and since he must have something to say, let’s put him on tv.

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  12. The Quiet One said on January 13, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    Maybe JtP can star in a reverse “Dirty Jobs”. After all, being a surgeon can’t be harder than butchering a deer. And dentists use drills just like Joe’s Black and Decker. We can see how competent a wingnut thinks Joe is when he volunteers to have him take out his appendix.

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  13. Gasman said on January 13, 2009 at 1:26 pm

    Can somebody please explain why the hell Joe the Hopelessly Clueless Plumber is in Israel? What f*%&ing moron would buy his plane ticket in order to inject him into that situation? Is there any human with so little intelligence lurking our fair planet that believes, even in a moment of narcotic induced delusion, that JTHCP could possibly, even remotely, have anything of any import to say on this – or any other subject!?!?!?!?!?

    “Peace between the Palestinians and Israel has been elusive enough to stymy our intellectual elites. Even Nobel Laureates have been unable to solve this one. Hmmm. It’s time to bring the mental and moral big guns to bear on this one. Let’s send Joe the Plumber.”

    Who’s to be next in the pantheon of ineffectual Middle-East commentators? Why not Mr. Whipple? How about Mitch Albom? Do I hear a call for Charles Barkley? “Paging Paula Abdul to the UN Security Council. Paging Ms. Abdul to the UN Security Council.”

    Hell, if we really want to get right down to the most inane, useless, and infuriating babblings on the subject, let’s just send Palin.

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  14. mark said on January 13, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    And dumbest?

    “Um, this is a fairly unique moment both in our, you know, our country’s history, and, and in, in, you know, my own life, and um, you know, we are facing, you know, unbelievable challenges, our economy, you know, healthcare, people are losing their jobs here in New York obviously um, arh, you know…”

    Gee, this game is fun. And easy to play.

    I noticed that today’s scripted man-in-the-Iranian-street demonstration featured the burning of very large pictures of president elect Obama. The ayatollahs need a good PR man. Keep burning pictures of Bush and some here will keep ignoring the general thuggery of the regime and its specific sins, chalking it up as inevitable reaction to the evil George Bush. Screw with Obams in effigy and we might have to consider the possibility the Iranian regime is malevolent.

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  15. Catherine said on January 13, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    Well, the Californian in that article is leaving Nipomo, which after all is California’s answer to, I don’t know, someplace with lots of oil wells, trailer parks and domestic violence.

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  16. Peter said on January 13, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    Joe the Plumber is in Isreal? Haven’t the Jews suffered enough?

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  17. alex said on January 13, 2009 at 1:59 pm

    Gee, this game is fun. And easy to play.

    Yes, mark, even you could be a war correspondent in Gaza.

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  18. Connie said on January 13, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    I believe Joetp is in Israel reporting for Pajamas Media. Who knows what they were thinking.

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  19. coozledad said on January 13, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    Here we go. Jump into thread where there’s a certain liberal consensus with some patented Goldbergian non-sequitor.
    1.”Obama says umm a lot, so he’s just as dumb as our piss-the- liberals-off overfed fake everyman white-trash agitprop, and our UV baked trailer bride veep candidate.”
    Problem is, Obama got that Ivy league diploma without a downcourt forearm assist from old money, and he’s already wiped his feet on said Republican idols. Now they’re circling the “lifestyles of the educationally retarded” toilet.
    2. Follow predictably snarky liberal response with wailing and gnashing of teeth. Falsely claim double standard. Tune radio to Rush Limbaugh, await further instructions.

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  20. coozledad said on January 13, 2009 at 2:16 pm


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  21. moe99 said on January 13, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    cooze, that was Caroline Kennedy, that the poster was quoting. Obama is far more eloquent on the stump.

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  22. mark said on January 13, 2009 at 3:08 pm


    1. Hope my interruption of your “liberal consensus” doesn’t steal your serenity. The roar of the peanut gallery continues even with the occasional interruption.

    2. The quote is from Caroline Kennedy’s interview with the NYT, not from Obama. Your mistake did give opportunity for an entertaining if inappropriate rant against old money.

    3. I don’t think Kennedy is dumb. It’s just very easy to ridicule people you disagree with for poorly articulated thoughts. I’m sure Obama would spend a lot of time making fun of people if his plate wasn’t so full. That was sarcasm, by the way. Obama actually seems to like discussing ideas rather than people.

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  23. coozledad said on January 13, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Thanks Moe.
    I’m forced to agree with Mark, then. At least tangentially. The whole dynasty thing is a non-starter. Always was.
    Most liberals I speak to don’t have anything approaching the cultish reverence for Caroline that we saw manifested for Sarah.
    I think Caroline would make a hell ceramics instructor, or sous chef.

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  24. Matt Mendelsohn said on January 13, 2009 at 3:41 pm


    Not sure if I sent you this one, speaking of our dear Joe:

    2010 Pulitzer Prizes Announced; Bono, Plumber, Housewives Among Winners




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  25. Gasman said on January 13, 2009 at 3:44 pm

    Oh for the unrepentant Palinites! You chosen few. Keep singing her praises. You’ve obviously uncovered an insidious liberal plot to unfairly defame this bright conservative star. You’ve clearly identified an immortal truth that has eluded the vast majority of Americans, liberals and conservatives alike. She is such a victim. It’s far too easy to poke fun at her. We have simply chosen to ignore all of her brilliant speeches, essays, and policy statements that stand as testament to her intellectual prowess. When will we ever learn?

    As for an intellectual cage fight between Sarah Palin and Caroline Kennedy, my money’s on the Old Money in that contest. I’d pay good money to witness that one.

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  26. coozledad said on January 13, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Matt: Life imitates art again. Bono will probably get his Pulitzer despite “not being too good with the commas and the full stops.”

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  27. Matt Mendelsohn said on January 13, 2009 at 4:24 pm


    I’ve stopped placing bets. One can only ponder (and weep) what the future holds: I’m Paris Hilton and this is the Nightly News.

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  28. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 13, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Ah, Joe. He should have known enough to say no, but why did they put him out there to make the trip way, waaaay out of his sphere of competence? He’s not an idiot, but he’s put himself in a place where he is inevitably going to sound like one, which i think is too bad.

    Two words: Peter Principle — and before you chuckle too much at Joe, remember to consider Peters’ Corollary.

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  29. alex said on January 13, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    Peter’s Corollary…

    Those who are competent are kept from rising to the positions where they’re most desperately needed?

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  30. Gasman said on January 13, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Jeff (tmmo),
    You are far too charitable to Joe. He’s not an idiot? Even at gunpoint I could not point to a single utterance of JTP that disproved his idiocy. If you can point me to anything that he has said on any subject that indicates thoughtfulness or intelligence, I’d be happy to reconsider my assessment about JTP’s alleged stupidity.

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  31. Matt Mendelsohn said on January 13, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    I’m with Gasman.

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  32. jeff borden said on January 13, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Don’t know if any of you folks saw the latest Buffalo Beast list of the 50 most loathesome people of 2008, but Joe the Plumber is in the middle ranks. They ranked Obama as No. 50 and Sarah Palin as No. 1.

    This annual exercise in some of the most acidic snark around is always a blast. Like Beloit College, which has cornered the market on the old “this year’s class of incoming freshman have never known a world without BLANK story,” the Beast has become the go-to publication for seriously dressing down our politicians, athletes and media personalities.

    What’s most maddening about people like Joe is the pride they take in being poorly informed. Look at the guy puff out his chest. He likes himself just the way he is. He doesn’t know anything about the long-standing strife between the State of Israel and the Palestinians? He doesn’t need to! He’s just a regular Joe talkin’ to the other regular Joes. Palin is a Rhodes Scholar compared to this asshat.

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  33. brian stouder said on January 13, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Nate Silver over at fivethirtyeight.com posted this link


    which made me laugh several times. It is an e-mail exchange between Governor Palin and the editor and publisher of the Anchorage Daily News

    an excerpt – Governor Palin’s email to them:

    Hello Mr. Doyle and Mr. Dougherty!

    Please, say it aint so: did you really allow a story to run in your paper today claiming Levi Johnston is a high school drop out? Did I read that right?

    And did you really print a story last week suggesting I had any connection with Sherry Johnston’s activities in the past six months or so and you won’t correct the story? Did I read that right?

    And is your paper really still pursuing the sensational lie that I am not Trig’s mother? Is it true you have a reporter still bothering my state office, my very busy doctor (who’s already set the record straight for you), and the school district, in pursuit of your ridiculous conspiracy?

    And, oh, I could go on…

    Come on Mr. Doyle and Mr. Dougherty, I so desperately want to have even a tiny bit of faith in the ADN.

    the response is brutally efficient

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  34. alex said on January 13, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    My gawd, you’d think Palin would stfu already about her persecution complex. (There’s drugs that can fix that, honey, and your in-laws make ’em.)

    Pajamas Media. Sounds like it might be a straw outfit set up by Sacha Baron Cohen or Michael Moore. Ya think?

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  35. joodyb said on January 13, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    i’d use as my idiot barometer the fact that JtP still hasn’t learned when to keep his yap shut. SJP seems to exemplify the level of narcissistic personality disorder political office attracts, generally speaking.

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  36. moe99 said on January 13, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    Alex, Pajamas Media is a right wing enterprise (though it does include turncoat BalloonJuice in its pantheon of bloggers)


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  37. alex said on January 13, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    That killed my buzz, moe. Know you didn’t mean to.

    Right now enjoying an unexpected evening of Idolness. So far the only genuine talent I’ve seen was the tatooed lady doing “Barracuda.”

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  38. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 13, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    Idol is doing their part to remind our elected officials of the scourge of unmet mental health needs in our communities.

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  39. Dexter said on January 13, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    Detroit Pistons were leading Charlotte 78-71 with a couple minutes to play and gave up ten in a row and lost 81-78…this would be a perfect addendum to Mitch’s SI.com story about Detroit, the city.


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  40. Deborah said on January 14, 2009 at 1:18 am

    Ah the plumbers smile. What a jerk ( said like Betty Davis saying “What a dump”)

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  41. Dexter said on January 14, 2009 at 1:40 am

    Rana…I just read your Bug comments from the previous thread. It’s always nice to re-kindle Bug memories. I had a 1960, a 1962, a 1968 Bug and a 1968 Karmann Ghia, and 1966 , 1968, and 1969 Microbuses. I still have the ’69 Bus.

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  42. Dexter said on January 14, 2009 at 1:43 am

    Anyone going to the Inauguration? My nephew and his fiancee are driving . She was the person-in-charge of Illinois Women for Obama.

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  43. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 14, 2009 at 8:15 am

    I’m about to trade in my 2000 Impala for a new 2009 Impala, for which i will apparently pay less than i did eight years ago. It does seem like benefiting from the misery of others (unless it turns out i’ve pooched my research and it’s actually that much more cheaply put together).

    We thought about going Taurus to reward Ford for not going to the trough with GM and the Company Soon To Be Merged With GM, but the legroom ain’t the same. Legroom vs. economic principles . . . yeah, it’s the legroom (i’m tall and long-legged, so i’ll never be a Smart Car owner).

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  44. brian stouder said on January 14, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Another Impala advantage: if it’s white or black with non-schnazzy wheel covers, you can speed down highway on-ramps – and people will immediately get out of your way, thinking that they’re about to get a ticket

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  45. beb said on January 14, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Jeff, I’m kind of long-legged myself, yet I found the Geo Metro, certainly one of the smallest cars ever made, surprisingly comfortable. That’s something that can’t be said for every mid or even full size car. It’s a funny world, and different car companies have different ideas about building comfort into their cars.

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  46. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 14, 2009 at 8:41 am


    Brian, it took me two years to realize what was going on with traffic ahead of me, but it really is a stitch. I clear out a path in front of me with my black Impala like Charlton Heston at the beach. Beb, my favorite car of the 90’s was a Neon, which folks thought looked like a clown car at the circus when i would pull up and get out. But the truth is, once i was in, it was as comfortable as i’ve been driving a car. So legroom has to be tested – can’t go by the website cubic feet, or “legroom” distance, which obviously is always measured from the two most favorable points.

    My EE friends are optomistic, but say five more years before the battery situation gets good. I’m gonna burn old fashioned dinosaur poop until then.

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  47. brian stouder said on January 14, 2009 at 8:50 am

    A nice little article, Jeff. I cannot recall W at any quiet little pre-Inaugural sit-downs with whoever was at the liberal vanguard, or veterans of the WJC amen-corner in 2000 (Tony Lewis? Dan Rather?). Quite the contrary, amidst the 2000 election end-game, the rule was flatly partisan, with Rove and company busily villifying the other side.

    I think this is more proof that President-elect Obama is precisely who we thought he was, when we elected him – and in that spirit, I think we all Obama supporters should say “Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!”, in happy unison!

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  48. Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on January 14, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Agreed, unless Obama ate some of the pods while at Will’s house. Don’t eat the pods, Barack, stick with the lettuce!

    A good friend of mine, global businessman, strong supporter of our housing coalition, life-long Republican (we’re the only two on our board) told me Monday he went into the voting booth, and at the last minute voted for Obama — he said it apologetically, and i told him “hey, no, i totally respect that choice, but tell me why you made a late pivot?”

    His answer, quite tellingly, was “i just had this suspicion that he’d name a cabinet that would make me puke.” He felt like Palin was a defensible choice, but that McCain and his team were good for about one, out-of-the-box, horizon extending choice per year, and that was it. The rest would be off of a Charlie Black list. “You may well have made the better choice,” i told him. I think Doug Holtz-Eakin would have been a good basis for an economic plan, but beyond that, i don’t think i’d have been as impressed by the early team McCain would have named as i am by Obama’s group and path so far (including his choice of preacher for the 21st!).

    Johnny Mac will serve us all well in the Senate along with Dick Lugar, and i’m cheered and encouraged by what OUR president is setting in motion so far . . . but that doesn’t mean i’m for his re-election in 2012! OTOH, if the alternative is McConnell or Crist, i could become an Obamacan yet.

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  49. MichaelG said on January 14, 2009 at 9:20 am

    They use Impalas for cop cars back there? It’s still all Crown Vics here in California with the occasional Dodge thrown in.

    You can bet that Obama is sorely pissed at Geithner. I mean the first question they ask one of their prospective nominees is “Do you have any turds in your pocket?” This guy has both IRS (he wants to be Sec Treas?) and alien nanny problems. What a dolt.

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  50. brian stouder said on January 14, 2009 at 9:40 am

    Speaking of dolts, the “Indiana Wants Me” guy got captured (surprise surprise), after his brainless “bailout” plan failed… and using my nn.c sharpened photo analysis skills, this picture gave me a chuckle


    After one admires the trophy plane and the sexy wife (or vise-versa)….one eventually detects the subversive little foreshadow of the guy’s essentially low-rent view of the good life. Yes – he has a Lexus – but he appears to have bashed into something (some pointless law or regulation, no doubt)

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  51. joodyb said on January 14, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    brian: i’m sure i’m not the only wire ed who’s sorry they caught him (or quite so fast, at least – we didn’t even make it through january). the yarn was already at a ridiculous length! it was fun to watch it unwind.
    i’m ruefully confident there will be more like him.

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  52. brian stouder said on January 14, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    joodyb, I confess that this guy’s antics have been entertaining me; his comically craven, oddly callow and cowardly antics have been compelling, to me.

    And let’s not forget, the guy LOOKS like a hoosier!! He has the same semi-goofy look as Senator Bayh, and any number of others of us.

    His story will make for a genuine black comedy, with the million dollar house in Geist, the stunt-plane faux-bravery, the low-rent affair with some even-more-callow bimbo, the trophy wife who wises up and dumps him only AFTER the Feds come and ransack the million dollar house (on New Year’s Eve!), and the cockamamie ‘escape’ plan involving carelessly sending his airplane careening to God-knows-where as he drifts toward the ground and his hidden red motorcycle with saddle bags!

    And the guy accepts (seeks?) a ride from the police to the vicinity of his hidden hog?! And his best idea after that is a KOA tent and slitting his wrists??

    If the guy hadn’t pulled the rip-cord, or if he’d flown his plane to the ocean, or if he drove the Lexus to the Ohio River and then jumped into it….or if he manned up and faced the consequences of his actions – THEN – fine.

    But instead, everything about him is a fraud, including his angst!

    (but we’ll grant him that for what? – 20 years? – he was “on a roll’!!)

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  53. joodyb said on January 14, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    that’s what was so compelling. what will he do next? i’m floored at the pathological ability to jump out of a plane unthinking about who/what it might hit. that stops me cold.

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