I’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes, pinging around the web, looking for inspiration. Friends? It isn’t out there, or if it is, I don’t know where it might be. Meanwhile, a lovely day is in progress, and I need to take out the trash. You want bloggage? That I have:

I want it on the record: If, when my daughter is grown, she dresses like, acts like, grooms herself in imitation of, or otherwise appears to be influenced by Kim Kardashian’s entire gestalt in any way, shape or form, I will consider myself a failure.

Sweet Juniper: Your forsythias don’t care you’re gone.

I have agreed to do craft services (i.e., provide food for) a friend’s short film production for one day next month. Meals: 2. Crew/cast head count: 36. Vegetarians: 3. Vegans: 0. Kitchen facilities: Still unknown. Suggestions welcome. I’m in a mood to wow someone. I’m thinking a big ol’ mess of carnitas with enough beans and roasted vegetables to satisfy the non-carnivores. But if you have a better idea, I’d like to hear it.

Rahm Emanuel says he wants to be mayor of Chicago someday. How do the Chicagoans in the room feel about that?

The Pope’s cologne.

To the gym.

Posted at 9:44 am in Same ol' same ol' |

38 responses to “Fail.”

  1. alex said on April 20, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Rahm sure beats the hell outta Richie, imho.

    44 chars

  2. Dorothy said on April 20, 2010 at 10:08 am

    I’m glad there are people like the Sweet Juniper guy who think of taking pictures like that.

    92 chars

  3. Jeff Borden said on April 20, 2010 at 10:13 am

    Daley has outlived his effectiveness by a good five years. Like Guiliani in New York and Riordan in Los Angeles, Daley worked aggressively to make Chicago more attractive to the middle-class through everything from millions of plantings along city streets to the establishment of a decent network of bicycle paths. He did some great things –Millennium Park is a treasure even if it was three years late and hundreds of millions over budget and his doggedness relating to O’Hare will keep that airport functioning as an economic hub long into the future– but he has lost his magic touch.

    These days he is seen as a tyrant. Our police department is in a shambles while our murder rate soars. Most public schools, aside from the magnet schools, do a lousy job of educating children. Fees and fines have exploded in an effort to squeeze every red cent from citizens. Almost $50 million went down the drain in his quixotic attempt to land the Olympics.

    Whoever follows Daley better be plenty smart and plenty tough. Rahm Emmanuel would fit that bill, but I’d want to hear more about how he might go about addressing the cancer of corruption.

    1144 chars

  4. Snarkworth said on April 20, 2010 at 10:14 am

    Likewise, Dorothy. That top one looks like Eastern Redbud.

    58 chars

  5. Deborah said on April 20, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I think Daley is OK, he gets things done. Emmanuel seems like that kinda guy too. I’m all for it. Chicago works, let’s keep it that way.

    136 chars

  6. Laura Lippman said on April 20, 2010 at 10:29 am

    I like the carnitas and if you have a crockpot, you can always throw in a brick of Velveeta and some Ro-tel tomatoes and everyone will be happy.

    Meanwhile, I think bread pudding is the dessert that always pleases, while requiring relatively little from the cook. And I think that throwing in chocolate chips and using relatively good whisky adds a lot.

    356 chars

  7. Dorothy said on April 20, 2010 at 10:41 am

    To feed 36 people? A few big pans of lasagna would be a good meal – you could make one pan with meatless sauce for the vegetarians. A huge bowl of fresh salad goes with that well, too. And good Italian bread. And I say something easy like lemon sherbet for dessert. Mmmmm now I’m hungry.

    288 chars

  8. MichaelG said on April 20, 2010 at 10:42 am

    The Pope’s Cologne – perfect for attracting that special pubescent someone.

    77 chars

  9. Sue said on April 20, 2010 at 10:46 am

    I like that you get a holy card with each bottle of the Pope’s Cologne, but I notice it doesn’t seem to include any indulgences.
    Nancy, cook up a storm and don’t forget the bacon.
    I’d like to see Rahm as mayor except that being mayor of Chicago really does seem to bring out the worst in everyone, at least since Richard I. So far I like Rahm as the get-things-done-by-screaming-profanities guy; not sure I’d like him as the get-things-done-by-being-corrupt guy. I don’t agree that he or Obama are products of the Chicago machine but I think Rahm would not be able to escape the machine if he wanted to get and stay elected.

    630 chars

  10. Sue said on April 20, 2010 at 11:17 am

    Dorothy, you know what goes really good with lemon sherbet for a nice dessert? Peanut butter cookies.

    102 chars

  11. LAMary said on April 20, 2010 at 11:39 am

    Feh on the Pope’s cologne. Who wants to smell like a dead child molestation enabler.
    I went to a fragrance extravaganza thing last Saturday and give me Burberry Summer or Chloe Capucin. Much nicer, but no holy card. Which in my case is a good thing.

    251 chars

  12. John said on April 20, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Scarcely a week later, I’m back at work and feeling as fit as a fiddle (although maybe not a Strad). After finding a severe blockage (over 90%) in one of my coronary arteries, I had a stent inserted to prop it open. I went from having chest pains from walking in from the parking lot to feeling 100% again virtually overnight. Major props to the staff at Yale and to all the researchers who made this technology possible. Thanks for all the good vibes sent my way.

    468 chars

  13. nancy said on April 20, 2010 at 11:49 am

    I keep forgetting you’re the house Nose, Mary. When we were in Vegas, our friend Clark let us in on one of his vacation rituals — buying a fragrance. (His theory is that it sharpens vacation memories. Hmm.) Anyway, we spent a lot of time at the various perfume counters in the Fashion Mall. I discovered Chanel’s new scent, Chance. Nice.

    Then we went to the Tom Ford counter and dealt with a saleswoman who was simultaneously pushy and if-you-have-to-ask-you-can’t-afford-it snooty. Ford’s are all “shared” fragrances, which if you ask me, falls into the category I put “cross-discipline” saddles — worthless. And expensive.

    727 chars

  14. Peter said on April 20, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    Rahm as mayor? At least he would speak better. But he’s even more corrupt and base than Daley, if that’s possible.

    Don’t think for a second that Rahm and Obama aren’t products of the the machine. Rahm would be nowhere if he didn’t have Daley’s help getting elected to Congress.

    283 chars

  15. brian stouder said on April 20, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    LL’s crockpot suggestion sounds great; different branches of my lovely wife’s far-flung family hold reunions all summer long (seemingly), and over the years I’ve learned that the key to any big spread is crock-pots; much better than any other method of presenting cooked food.

    Don’t know about the whiskey, other than I suspect that the cheap stuff in the bottle of an expensive brand would be just as effective, for me.

    It was good to see that we got past National Nutball day yesterday, without some bloody extravaganza or another occurring. Didja see Rachel Maddow’s show about OKC? It was genuinely ‘important’ tv.

    625 chars

  16. LAMary said on April 20, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    I think I may have mentioned Chance in here a little while back. It’s very nice, very fresh. Check out the Burberry Summer too. At the fragrance extravaganza I bought the Marc Jacobs Pomegranate I had been lusting for and some Hermes Pamplemousse Rose, another long term lust. The company reps gave me lots and lots of swag, so I have other things to try out now. I also have four orange blossom and jasmine candles in bright turquoise votives. Not sure what I’m doing with three out of four of those. One is going into my bathroom.

    533 chars

  17. brian stouder said on April 20, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    John – great to hear that all’s well, for you and yours! After the extended discussion around here about bacon, and bacon grease, and deep-fried baconball double baconater w/cheese and bacon entree’s (etc), just reading this blog is probably spinning up all of our ‘bad cholesterol’ numbers into the red zone, and beyond!

    328 chars

  18. Dexter said on April 20, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    One of my wife’s catalogs arrived and a folder of Chance fell out, so I opened it and…I like it! “It’s your Chance, embrace it.”
    “Chance Eau Tendre a tender yet vibrant embrace”
    “A delicate , radiant incarnation of the decidedly young scent.”
    The Pope stuff has been around quite a while. I saw a news seg on it eons ago.

    334 chars

  19. John said on April 20, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    I try to limit myself to a few strips of bacon, every 4 or 5 months. My mother’s method of cooking involved using bacon grease (stored in an old coffee percolator by the range) in every dish.

    192 chars

  20. brian stouder said on April 20, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    and now for something completely different: “crush videos” are Constitutional!!

    What the hell is a “crush video” you ask? Don’t ask. (apparently I have lead a very sheltered life)

    To be fair, with 8 Justices voting to strike down the law, this doesn’t look like one of Roberts’ oddball takes. Still….

    The First Amendment’s guarantee of free speech does not extend only to categories of speech that survive an ad hoc balancing of relative social costs and benefits,” Roberts wrote. “The First Amendment itself reflects a judgment by the American people that the benefits of its restrictions on the Government outweigh the costs. Our Constitution forecloses any attempt to revise that judgment simply on the basis that some speech is not worth it.” The law was enacted in 1999 to forbid sales of so-called “crush videos,” which appeal to a certain sexual fetish by depicting the torture of animals or showing them being crushed to death by women with stiletto heels or their bare feet. [pardon me while I wretch] But the government has not prosecuted such a case. Instead, the case before the court, United States v. Stevens, came from Robert Stevens of Pittsville, Va., who was convicted and sentenced to three years in prison for videos he made about pit bull fighting.

    Well. I learned something today, but egad

    1458 chars

  21. ROgirl said on April 20, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    I love my old standby Miss Dior, which I discovered when I was a teenager and still use.

    88 chars

  22. Dexter said on April 20, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    I don’t think anybody has mentioned it yet…bacon grease makes the best popcorn ever. I haven’t made any for about twenty years with the bacon drippings, but I remember it. Since I was gifted a Whirly-Pop stove-top popper, it will be no problem.
    I was sort of surprised to find that Drakkar Noir, my cologne, became sort of a joke a few years ago. I hear the hipsters on the satellite radio making fun of old guys who use it…but it’s too late now for me to change, because I like it and always have. I sure as hell do not need women attacking me because I would have switched to Axe Body Spray. Nope, I’m too old to drive them away.
    Today was a beautiful day to take a bike ride. I was quite a ways from home and started to bonk. Luckily I had just stopped at a store for a pack of black licorice Twizzlers. Instant fuel-injection to the legs and a nice ride home. Now I think I’ll ride around for another half hour. Really nice day here in Northwest Ohio.

    986 chars

  23. Jolene said on April 20, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    I dunno, Peter, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find much of a connection between Barack Obama and Mayor Daley’s machine. But don’t take my word for it. There’s a new and, according to the reviews I’ve seen, very detailed Obama biography by David Remnick called “The Bridge.”

    I know less about Rahm’s political roots, but if he were really a machine type, I don’t think he’d have made the career choices that he has. It surprises me, actually, that he wants to be the mayor. He doesn’t seem like the type.

    513 chars

  24. Deborah said on April 20, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    “I was quite a ways from home and started to bonk”… Dexter, I have no idea what “bonk” means? Is that a biking term? I assume it means you got tired, but I’ve never seen it written that way.

    192 chars

  25. Joe Kobiela said on April 20, 2010 at 7:37 pm

    Sorry I missed the bacon party yesterday, but had to go to Houston and just got back. Two days 5hr non stop both ways. The great things about pigs is you can feed them garbage and they make bacon. Commedian Jim Gafigan has a great take on the subject of bacon if you get the chance check him out. Dexter I also used to pop corn in bacon grease, must be a northern Ind and Ohio thing. As for little Dick Daley, every pilot in the USA THINKS HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR WHAT HE DID TO MEIGS FIELD.
    Pilot Joe

    505 chars

  26. Deborah said on April 20, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    Joe, I’d much rather have a nice park all along the lake than a smelly fuel dripping airport interrupting the beautiful shore line. But call me a romantic I guess.

    163 chars

  27. Dexter said on April 20, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    Deborah…to bonk is lose the glycogen in your muscles. It’s usually meant to be used in describing athletes who are training hard or racing , so I use the term loosely. For me, if I eat lightly and avoid protein, and ingest to much coffee, I get weak in the legs quickly at times, maybe after ten miles of steady pedalling. All I need is a couple peanut butter crackers or really…just about anything to eat RIGHT NOW! and in three minutes I am fine. Some runners use the term “bonk” to describe “hitting the wall”, which is what a lot of marathoners do at 20 miles in the 26 mile races. For anyone who uses oral diabetes medications and rides a bicycle, I strongly recommend carrying a little something to grab and eat the second the bonk starts. If the sweating starts, it’s almost too late.
    I hope everybody had a Happy 420. My tokin’ days are long gone.

    876 chars

  28. Dexter said on April 20, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    Joe, really, there is hardly anything better than bacon grease popcorn. I worked with a guy who farmed for Orville Redenbacher enterprises…he said the company would come and test the corn periodically in the field and THEY would decide when it was time to pick it, too.

    Another work buddy had a friend who went to Purdue to study agriculture and became very interested in growing different strains of popcorn. He gave me a bag of “special black”. It was the best popcorn I ever had…nothing even close. I see they sell Black Jewell corn in the local supermarkets, but it ain’t even close. I never got any more of the good stuff.

    Also Joe, who can forget when Daley ripped up Meigs Field with that heavy equipment? I never understood that at all. It was kind of sickening.

    787 chars

  29. Joe Kobiela said on April 20, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    I have seen the so called park where Meigs used to be. Looks like a over grown hay field. What Lil dick did there was ILLEGAL and the city, that means you tax payers payed the fine. Just wait until the casino is raised on that sight,then we will see how much that sight belongs to the people. Also remember those smelly airplanes tend to bring people that own businesses and those are the type of people that bring jobs to your area. No airport, no jobs.
    Pilot Joe

    472 chars

  30. MichaelG said on April 20, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    Gotta second Pilot Joe and Dexter on the Meigs Field issue.

    Maybe I’ll try the bacon fat popcorn thing. Sounds just awful enough to maybe be good.

    152 chars

  31. moe99 said on April 20, 2010 at 11:33 pm

    Veering wildly of topic (can that be done here?) I have to say Sen. Lindsay Graham’s friends sound more like enemies these days. I wonder if this will get any traction?

    199 chars

  32. beb said on April 21, 2010 at 7:36 am

    With friends like these Lindsay Graham doesn’t need enemies. But they make a weird argument. Graham isn’t to be trusted because he could be blackmailed because he’s (alledgedly) gay. But who has made being gay a criminal offense? The right wing dirt-bags who fear Graham is compromised. If people would accept that being gay is like being left-handed, something that just is, than no one can be blackmailed over it.

    415 chars

  33. coozledad said on April 21, 2010 at 9:04 am

    The notion that anyone could be blackmailed over homosexuality only flies if you’ve taken up permanent residence in your soiled cold-war trousers. These people live in a different reality altogether.
    It also presupposes there is a single living being who does not know Lindsey Graham is gay. He’s like Paul Lynde without the wit and Jim Nabors without the humility.

    366 chars

  34. Dorothy said on April 21, 2010 at 9:18 am

    I can remember when my mom used to save bacon grease and she’d use a small dollop of it in the frying pan when making fried potatoes. But when I was in first grade, she tells me that I horrified my teacher when I told her that we used bacon grease in the pan when we make hamburgers. Which was not true but what did I know? I was 6. I have no memory of this but my mother still remembers, probably because I about gave her heart failure when the teacher told her I said that.

    And Dexter, thanks for the primer on bicycling and “bonk.” When I bonk something, it means I hit it – like I bonked my head on the kitchen cabinet when I was under the sink looking for the Murphy’s Oil Soap and lifted my head up too soon.

    723 chars

  35. Jeff Borden said on April 21, 2010 at 10:03 am

    There will never, ever in a gazillion years be a casino on the banks of Lake Michigan, Joe. It will NEVER happen. As proof, you might want to check out stories about how the city is pondering ways of razing the original McCormick Place building, now called the Lakeside Center, so the land on which it sits can be returned to the public domain. It was the damned Chicago Tribune that successfully argued for the convention center there, which was stupid thinking since it is so far from the restaurants and hotels of downtown.

    I’m agnostic about Meigs. I thought it was kind of cool to see airplanes coming and going on the lake, and they used it to park a lot of the vintage aircraft seen at the air and water show. But I’ve been to concerts at the open air amphitheatre that is there now, and have bicycled through there too, and it’s an awfully pretty site with spectacular skyline views.

    No doubt fliers have far stronger feelings, but the closing of Meigs had no impact on me as compared to, say, the horrible parking meter deal, which does.

    1052 chars

  36. Deborah said on April 21, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Already a new post up so probably no one will read this, but Joe there are already 2 airports in Chicago. No need for a third, especially since it was on prime land that has all kinds of environmental impact as an airport as opposed to a hay field.

    248 chars

  37. brian stouder said on April 21, 2010 at 11:02 am

    Deborah, I read it – and it made me smile!

    42 chars

  38. LAMary said on April 21, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Isn’t Lindsay Graham featured on the “Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians” website? He really does.

    94 chars