Tyson Who?

I’m thinking it’s a day for another links’n’stuff post, because Mondays suck, and this one sucked audibly.


There was a time in American journalism when you couldn’t say “boner” in the newspaper. You still can’t. Online, you put it in a headline. Poor guy. Or maybe not.

Great Olympic moments, nostalgia edition: When Tyson Gay became Tyson Homosexual.

It’s election day in Michigan. The phone rang incessantly all weekend. Robocalls. Today I came home and found four on the machine, answered two more, and found another on the machine after I stepped out for a while. I’m ready to call in an airstrike on the whole Wayne County Commission.

More tomorrow. At least I hope so.

Posted at 12:31 am in Current events |

50 responses to “Tyson Who?”

  1. basset said on August 7, 2012 at 7:18 am

    That wasn’t a boner, it was a secret signal:


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  2. alex said on August 7, 2012 at 7:21 am

    I’m not a twitter follower, particularly, but thoroughly enjoying the blue humor emanating from the red planet via the BiCuriosity Rover.

    Brian, regarding the old WANE-TV news set in the garbage that you mentioned in the last thread, I found your wife’s Facebook page but couldn’t find the photo. You sure that’s where she posted it?

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  3. brian stouder said on August 7, 2012 at 8:14 am

    See if this link works:


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  4. coozledad said on August 7, 2012 at 8:32 am

    Tells me they ought to have judging for “medals receiving”, sub-category “scrod-boggling”.
    “Well, Andy, they only picked up the bronze for the rowing, but the one fellow’s flashing some truly unique scrod. Looks like he sloppily attached itthis morning with some worn out velcro, or it come loose when it was struck by an oar. I give him a seven for the dadaism alone.
    Drugs likely. Did you see the cameltoe on the lady weightlifter this morning? Christ. You’d think she just dropped a shoat. Pure Silicone. I hear the Chinese women’s epee was caught stitching wood ear fungus in their underthings. Cheaters.”

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  5. alex said on August 7, 2012 at 8:50 am

    And Cooz wins the thread before it’s begun.

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  6. Mark P said on August 7, 2012 at 9:21 am

    All boner comments by apparent non-athletes. You don’t get erections while engaged in strenuous physical activity (well, all save one). However, sometimes during the activity, things get rearranged in the tights. So what everyone should be saying is, “I wonder what it would be like if it were actually a boner?”

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  7. Bitter Scribe said on August 7, 2012 at 10:06 am

    I’d be tempted to change my name to something like Sodomite Atheist Jones just to screw with the AFA’s software.

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  8. Julie Robinson said on August 7, 2012 at 10:45 am

    I’m not touching this thread with a 10 foot pole. I’ll leave that to the Olympic rowers.

    Marvin Hamlisch has died, at only 68. He wrote a lot of schlock and a lot of good stuff too. http://www.broadway.com/buzz/163291/marvin-hamlisch-oscar-and-tony-winning-composer-of-a-chorus-line-dies-at-age-68/

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  9. brian stouder said on August 7, 2012 at 10:53 am

    Julie – you made me laugh out loud; I think the thread is now yours!

    And agreed about Hamlisch – who I always associate with The Sting.

    PS – “my” post near the top of the thread was actually from Pamela; just so you know

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  10. nancy said on August 7, 2012 at 10:53 am

    And was married to former up-n-comer-but-never-quite-got-there Columbus TV weather gal Terre Blair. She finally settled for marrying her way into the big time.

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  11. Connie said on August 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

    As soon as Julie mentioned Hamlisch my brain began to play the soundtrack to “The Sting.”

    Alex, I suggest no thread comment awards to comments that discuss women’s sexual parts in an inappropriate manner. I consider that an ongoing issue in the comments here. At least for me.

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  12. alex said on August 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

    Well, well, well. A pedigreed Republican piss-ant who’s about to get trounced by someone else in his own party.

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  13. Judybusy said on August 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Thanks, Connie. My thoughts, too.

    Alex, I enjoyed to Bicuriosity stuff! And the walk down memory lane with Mr. Homosexual was fun, too.

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  14. Dan B said on August 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

    Well, there’s a follow-up story in which said rower denies that he was erect:

    So I’m desperately trying to think of something to add to this post so that I’m not only talking about this story. And, um…

    We’ve been keeping Olympics coverage on in the background in the evenings. And can I just say that the coverage of the gymnastics event finals is so much better than the coverage of the team and all-around competitions? Showing routines by non-Americans, even when they don’t have a chance to level? Actually showing men’s still rings at all? Telling us about some of the non-American athletes and why they’re interesting? I’m sure that if I could actually watch the live coverage it would be even better, but we have no cable (and we’re unwilling to work with a proxy server to be able to watch the BBC online coverage).

    The other event I find amusing is the show jumping. Rana actually appreciates the equestrian portion. I’m just amused by the aesthetics. The riders are all in variations of the classic riding costume, very classically upper class. But the course, with all of its gates shaped like the Houses of Parliament or a double-decker bus looks like a very nice miniature golf course. The contrast feels really jarring to me.

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  15. nancy said on August 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

    Alex, that’s hilarious. Ben Quayle is going to be a one-and-done lawmaker? In ARIZONA? Wow. I may have to watch something other than the Olympics tonight.

    BTW, wasn’t it the other Quayle son who was supposed to be, y’know….

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  16. alex said on August 7, 2012 at 11:59 am

    Connie, I realize that bawdy humor isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I don’t think Cooz has a mysogynistic bone in his body. Neither do I. In this context why would lady parts be any different than man parts?

    On edit: And yes, brother Tucker is no mother fucker. Ben’s sibling was outed years ago gettin’ jiggy with another guy in Provincetown.

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  17. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Marvin Hamlisch was a named correspondent when Steve Garvey divorced Cindy. Marvin Hamlisch stealing your wife? Gutdom, what an embarrassment. Garvey was sure no Gil Hodges. Not even Wes Parker.

    Wasn’t Rep. Quayle responsible for a website with naked wimmins? And remember when his mom said “Anybody who knows Dan Quayle knows he would rather play golf than have sex.” Gutdom, what an embarrassment.



    Shit, that guy looks like Frank Burns.

    As for that one and done, didn’t those dickheads promise long ago to limit their terms? What ever happened to that revolutionary newticle idea?

    And the top hats on the dancing horse riders cracked me up. Holy crap what pompous (horse’s) asses. Reminds me of dogs in embarrassing sweaters. I missed the boner, but my pard S. was more or less ecstatic about it. She said she’d never seen one on TV before.

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  18. Charlotte said on August 7, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    Hamlisch directed the choir scene that opens Ordinary People, and did the music for the movie, which was shot my junior year at Lake Forest High School. I remember how impressed my choir friends were that they got to work with him, and that he took them so seriously. It was a long shoot, but they all came out having learned a lot — which I always thought spoke well of the guy.

    My sweetheart, who did not grow up horsey, and who is always sort of bewildered by the arcane social class bullshit of the horse world in which I grew up, thinks jumper courses look like putt-putt courses. He suggests a new event — between jumps, riders have to use a polo mallet to sink a putt. Somehow I do not think my mother, so deeply invested in that world that she retired to Lexington to be close to the Kentucky Horse Park, will find this as amusing as I do ….

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  19. nancy said on August 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

    Jumper courses do look a little putt-putt; it’s to add difficulty. Horses can’t see color (I don’t think), but like any reasonable person, they’re offended by weird shapes and stuff, so getting them to boldly clear the obstacles is part of the challenge.

    Also, the funny fences are where you display your sponsors’ logos ‘n’ stuff. Hence the omnipresent jump at Grand Prix level where the jump standards are Michelob bottles.

    The top hat is just part of the costume, Pros. Makes as much sense as anything.

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  20. brian stouder said on August 7, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    That Quayle “goes both ways” article was definitely funny stuff; the double entendre and the indignant response, both; Thanks Alex!

    And, while we’re on politics, we should place our bets on who gets to accompany Romneyhood through the 2012 electoral forest.

    The thinking is he will name his Veep/running mate before this week is over.

    I hereby bet one 44 ounce icy cold Diet Pepsi on the guy from all-important Ohio – Portman.

    And assuming I’m wrong there, then guess number two is the other boring white guy – Pawlenty of Minnesota.

    And assuming that’s wrong – the woman I’d select would be Kaye Baily Hutchinson of Texas (who I thought McCain should have picked).

    And if he wants another Sarah Palin (which is to say, if the captain of the Titanic wanted another ice berg to hit), the hottest woman who will give him no help – that governor from South Carolina – Haley?

    edit: Nikki Haley


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  21. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Sorry, but a baseball cap or a cowboy hat, or a coonskin cap makes more sense for riding a horse. But toppers? lame. Do they use two-sided carpet tape on the inside of the top hats to keep them on, like the JLo shower curtain dress?

    Putting with a polo mallet is hilarious Charlotte. That’s what the pro golfers using “belly” putters look like.

    I wasn’t really making fun of Marvin Hamlisch so much as Garvey, who is the only major leaguer ever that actually threw like a girl, and not Lori Petty or . He could not throw a baseball all the way to second base. Good hitter, but I’d prefer James Loney. And really, you parbly grow up tough with a name like Marvin Hamlisch.

    And wasn’t Pachelbel largely responsible for the music in Ordinary People? But I agree with Charlotte’s assessment of the guy if he worked that well with a HS chorus.And great acting in that movie, even Mary Tyler Moore.

    From that Quayle story:

    It not only misrepresents Ben Quayle’s positions on important issues, it includes what can only be described as the strangest of allusions to sexuality that have no place in a political debate.

    And if Quayle were running against a gay opponent, he wouldn’t do it? Yeah, right.

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  22. MarkH said on August 7, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Kay Bailey Hutchison.

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  23. Charlotte said on August 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm

    I’ve missed all the Olympic jumping — are they jumping in toppers? I thought the FEI made everyone wear real helmets now … I know the dressage folks wear the top hats, but what’s the likelihood that someone is going to get dumped that hard in dressage competition at that level?

    It’s very funny dating a non-horse person after so many generations in the biz …. jumper courses look so normal to me that I never even would have noticed the resemblance. His other idea for a new Olympic event is full-combat women’s floor exercise — send those mean little girls at one another — whichever one knocks the other out of the ring in mid-air wins.

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  24. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    As much as I’d like Nikki out of my state, she is a disaster waiting to happen. The guy RMoney will like in the end is Pawlenty. Two loaves of Wonderbread. But I hope he chooses Ryan. Slashing $11 billion from the VA will not be popular. GOPers are so inherently racist at this point, they wouldn’t buy Haley or Alfred E. “What, Me Worry” Jindal. Sen. Hutchison would drive Teabangers crazy and would motivate women to vote against Willard.

    And like our last goobernor here in SC, Haley has an Appalachian Trail problem.

    And Kay Hutchison?


    And this is pure dogwhistle shit:


    RMoney is a pathological liar. He says shit with no basis in reality, and expects it must be true because he said it. That’s fracking looney.

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  25. Jeff Borden said on August 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

    I’ve gone from finding Willard Romney a boring, self-absorbed plutocrat to actively despising him. He truly has no moral core. . .no set of beliefs. . .beyond his own sense of rectitude. He is a lying sack of shit with an outdated world view –Russia is our biggest global enemy???– and a collection of W. castoffs advising him on everything from foreign policy to economic policy. He would be a terrible president and a return to Bush III.

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  26. coozledad said on August 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    I wondered why the Republicans have been trotting out “the SPLC has outlived its usefulness” line. It’s because in the vacuum created by the Republicans’ slashing of surveillance programs centered on the white trash terror apparat, the SPLC was performing useful work tying the Republican donor base to Christian identity whackjobs.
    If you want to see how badly the SPLC report on Wade Page sank their knickers in their crack, get a load of Althouse’s commentariat.


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  27. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Jeff. RMoney is on the record as saying he’d reinstitute W’s misadministration. Holy shit. Now he is actually attacking Obama over welfare to work procedures he actually requested back when he was riding around with Seamus on the roof. Attack the black President with phony as shit claims about welfare. Skreeee. That is a dog whistle. When was the last time RMoney said anything true? RMoney would put Robert Bork on the Supreme Court. That is horrifying.

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  28. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    cooze, I bet White Victory didn’t play this one:


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  29. coozledad said on August 7, 2012 at 2:18 pm

    prospero: Or this:

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  30. Deborah said on August 7, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Brian, I’m betting it’s Pawlenty, just because he’s as equally boring as Rmoney. But I’m always wrong about these things.

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  31. Catherine said on August 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm

    I wish I’d said this about Romney-Pawlenty, but it was Sherman Alexie, poetic and apt even on Twitter: “We won’t say double vanilla is better than chocolate. But it’s implied.”

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  32. brian stouder said on August 7, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Catherine – excellent!

    Or – the only thing better than vanilla is vanilla aPawlenty

    (but I still think ‘any Portman in a storm’)

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  33. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Edwards said Page, who lived in a neighboring community, served in the military from 1992 to 1998, received a “general discharge” and was “ineligible for reenlistment.”

    So the army officially knew he was batshit. And he bought guns? Will the real Martians please stand up?

    I do love XTC. Hadn’t heard that one.

    Pawlenty did let the bridge fall down, in his budget cutting frenzy. Infrastructure and jobs. GOPers screwed that pooch bigtime.

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  34. Jolene said on August 7, 2012 at 2:43 pm

    Actually, Pros, it was excessive drinking that led to Page’s general discharge–and to subsequent job problems as well.


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  35. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    Well I said they were double Wonderbread, and as much a fan as I am of Sherman Alexie, I think it’s funnier. The White Bread Ticket. Two guys that couldn’t get a date without a cop uniform and some cop lights. Couldn’t RMoney still be arrested for that? I think there is no statute of Limitations on kidnapping. Portman might make Willard seem less a nerd. But GOPers still think smokeng pot is disqualifying. I don’t trust anybody that didn’t at least try it. I say it’s the Paul Bunyan of the I-35W.

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  36. Jolene said on August 7, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    I thought the FEI made everyone wear real helmets now … I know the dressage folks wear the top hats, but what’s the likelihood that someone is going to get dumped that hard in dressage competition at that level?

    The jumpers are wearing helmets. Also saw at least one dressage rider wearing a helmet, and the commentators said, “Good for her.” Haven’t been watching consistently, so I can’t say whether she was the only one. The others I saw, though, did have top hats.

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  37. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    Well, then, I’m all for the guy buying all the guns he wants, Jolene. I’d say alcohol abuse should be a pretty good reason not to let somebody buy guns.

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  38. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    but what’s the likelihood that someone is going to get dumped that hard in dressage competition at that level? Well, them dancing horses can get pretty frisky.

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  39. brian stouder said on August 7, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Well, them dancing horses can get pretty frisky.

    But them Rowers have wood…

    (I was gonna say “But them rowers are hung like horses” – but it just didn’t seem to have the zing, ya know?)

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  40. Connie said on August 7, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    Voter No. 132. The only candidates on Democratic ballot were county, state and national. All the local offices – the township people with whom I work – are Republican.

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  41. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    Do my 2nd Amendment rights entitle me to on of these? Why not? I’m supposed to have the government’s firepower according to Scalito.


    I’d sure blow up the Westboro Babdiss first.

    Rowers bring the wood, I think, is the proper term.

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  42. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Which part of not shooting people do GOPers and NRA idiots fail to understand?


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  43. Jakash said on August 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm

    I don’t know if anybody has posted this here, or not. If they have, sorry to repeat it. It was on Andrew Sullivan’s blog about a week ago. It’s a pretty interesting depiction of Romney’s income and tax rate (from the 2 returns he DID release) in comparison with those of the most recent Presidents.

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  44. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 5:14 pm

    This guy may have had more of a problem with the Homosexual story:


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  45. Deborah said on August 7, 2012 at 5:51 pm

    Thanks Jakash, I read Sullivan’s The Dish every day but somehow I missed that chart. Very telling. I wish it would get more circulation. More people need to see that.

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  46. Sherri said on August 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    No, Prospero, Scalia has said you only have the right to bear arms. If you can’t carry it, it’s not protected by the second amendment. No cannons, then, but a Stinger missile should be just fine. (http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/07/29/us-usa-court-scalia-idUSBRE86S0OR20120729)

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  47. Scout said on August 7, 2012 at 7:26 pm

    The best part of the Olympic wood story at Gawker is that it lead me then to this piece of utter fabulousness, which I read at work, trying futilely to stifle the giggles.


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  48. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    I just read that Scout. Somebody needs to give those boys a sound beating, but I’m afraid they’d like it. I believe those boys be RMoney supporters. Without a doubt. And I’d much rather have the right to arm bears than to bear arms. Deer too. Any animals people shoot for self-aggrandizing purposes, not for food. Let them varmints shoot back and see how long it is before that shit gets old.

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  49. Deborah said on August 7, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    Do you mean arm bears?

    Edit: sorry I just reread your comment and you had it right. It’s been a long day at work.

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  50. Prospero said on August 7, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    Apparently, the Olympic Village was invaded by non-official condoms:


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