If it’s February 2014, it’s time to spend our winter entombment sitting on our holiday-fortified butt fat watching the slender and graceful do some of the silliest sports in creation.
Slopestyle — oh, please. Team figure skating? If it keeps them from scratching each other’s eyes out. Moguls make my knees hurt just to watch. And yet, I’m gonna sit here on this couch and eat Girl Scout cookies until it’s over, because I am done, done I tell you, with what’s outside my own house at the moment. Two more inches fell Saturday night. Fuck every damn flake of it.
You know, this slopestyle is sort of fun to watch. Crazy damn kids.
I think speed skating is my great lost opportunity. Who knows? If I’d grown up in Milwaukee, maybe I’d have rock-solid 36-inch thighs that could kill a man.
Well, it was a weekend. Cold, snowy, a little dull. We saw “Dallas Buyers Club” Saturday, while Kate went to a Pixies show downtown. Made macaroni and cheese and a panzanella salad. You know how it goes. This time next week, we’ll be in New Orleans. Where, today, it reached 70 degrees. I think that’s all I have to say about that.
Meanwhile, a little bloggage:
When Mitch Albom goes to the mat for something, you know he’s going to give it his all. After all, he’s a sportswriter, a venue where putting it out there and then smack-talking to back it up is part of the job. And he’s a decorated, nationally known sportswriter. So, today, he wound up his keyboard and declared THE BEATLES WERE THE BEST. Actual lines:
Yep. I said it.
Yep, he said it. He said it: The Beatles were the best, and he won’t take it back.
If Katy Perry wants to argue, bring it on. If Lady Gaga takes exception, I’ll raise it.
Because this is an incredibly bold position, isn’t it, to argue that the most successful and enduring pop-music group from an almost supernaturally creative epoch in modern pop-music history is still worth listening to.
And addressing this lecture to a hypothetical “young person,” as he does? That’s simply the work of an asshole.
Moving on: What, you mean I was ahead of the editor of the New York Times? Nonprofit news — it’s what all the cool kids are doing.
The weather was bad in Portland over the weekend, too. Here’s the best story to come out of it. I could see it coming, too – watch out for that ice!
Tick, tick, tick.
PaulM said on February 10, 2014 at 2:17 am
Some folks are going to take umbrage at this, but I’m going to say it anyway: Abraham Lincoln was the best president. James Buchanan, sit down. Grover Cleveland, you can sit down twice. Not even Calvin Coolidge is going to say a word against Lincoln.
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Dexter said on February 10, 2014 at 4:14 am
The poor thing fell on her ass. OK, but the poor bastard who got knocked to the sidewalk by the Brooklyn snowplow has a lawsuit. This snow-blast shattered the car dealership window as well, and this tape is going to get that driver into deep shit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52k_VbeJj1Y
After battling more ice and snow I was so happy to see that the OKC Thunder vs. NY Knickerbockers game was on, meaning I got to see my main man Kevin Durant of OKC play. Later I watched The Beatles remembrance show from NYC , Ed Sullivan Theater, from my recliner while eating a bunch of tasty grapes. It was so great, so much fun, what a blast. Then to watch Fiona Gallagher’s happy love life get derailed once again (Showtime’s “Shameless”) , and then the coup de grace of my TV night, “True Detective”. HBO has done it again; there has not been anything like this on TV before. The final twelve minutes is white-knuckle time, a rarity for TV viewers.
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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on February 10, 2014 at 6:53 am
Now, if Mitch had said, in this week of Beatles worship, “The Eagles were the best” — I might have read the rest of the piece just to see where he goes with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JlmvtAHhnc
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Basset said on February 10, 2014 at 8:16 am
We watched the first Ed Sullivan show appearance right at 7, then the next week’s show from Miami – not interested in the tribute. Then, a 1966 Green Acres from YouTube through our new Chromecast, good to have net video on the big tv but still haven’t worked out how to get the sound through the main speakers, not that you really need surround for 60s mono audio anyway.
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Dave said on February 10, 2014 at 8:54 am
Bassett, you didn’t watch Bonanza?
Eagles, JMMO? Now, he should have argued Stones, that’s the argument. Even an Eagle came for the tribute (Joe Walsh). But then, I learned Joe Walsh is married to Ringo’s wife’s sister.
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coozledad said on February 10, 2014 at 9:19 am
If anything like the Beatles happened these days they’d be the same target of the moral panic crowd. They’d be burning their records in every Alabama the first time one of them said anything intelligent, and Mitch would be squicked out by the new Yoko.
The Beatles was a pressure cooker. The fun of it was severely limited by the marketing of them as affable and harmless. They were already young adults who’d freshly come off what was a proto-punk act in Hamburg, Jagger, Richards, and John Rotten were just cartoons of damaged jerks aping Lennon.
Here’s a good example of how the Beatles would be treated today by the people who still wallow in every moral panic that crops up. And this is PAULIE for fuck’s sake. Note who’s the actual adult in this conversation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHC0s6G3VbM
And again, John and Paul talking to some prick about the formation of Apple:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_abWOyG16c
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Julie Robinson said on February 10, 2014 at 9:26 am
Dang, I missed the Beatles tribute and the figure skating too, for a basketball game. We got tickets for the Pacers/Magic game. The Pacers are #1 right now and played that way for three quarters, and then the Magic surged ahead, led by IU alum Victor Oladipo. In just a few months he’s become their biggest star. It was tremendously exciting.
Also tremendously exciting: the sun! It rained our first few days but yesterday became the Florida we were expecting. Pure bliss.
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Carolyn said on February 10, 2014 at 9:34 am
Fritzel’s European Jazz Pub at 733 Bourbon Street. You’re welcome.
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brian stouder said on February 10, 2014 at 10:14 am
The Olympic snowboarders are somewhat insane, and Bob Costas’ eye infection has been making my eyes water almost as much as the enchanting figure skating, as we huddle in our snow-bound home.
The snow and the endless ILF are trying to get me down, but it is sunny today, so it’s all good….except for the damage to my car, which I inflicted when I was stuck in snow, and ‘bumped’ a concrete abutment*.
Truly – it was a 2 or 3 mph bump, and I damaged the bumper enough to take the car out of commission.
Deep breath… 2, 3…exhale. And it IS sunny outside
*if you’re stuck, and you see fluffy white snow pile ahead of you, do not assume that it is really just a fluffy snow pile…and not a snow-covered unmovable concrete structure covered with snow!
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MichaelG said on February 10, 2014 at 10:48 am
I guess that woman who slipped on the street in Portland now knows to stay off paint stripes. They are the worst. I started out disliking her but ended up on her side after the follow up interview. She seems pretty cool.
For some reason I can’t get into snow boarding or any of that trick stuff.
I’m squicked out by the old Yoko.
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LAMary said on February 10, 2014 at 10:58 am
Not having any girl scouts around to sell me cookies I was forced into making a double batch of coconut shortbread yesterday so we wouldn’t starve while watching the slopestyle people and the figure skaters.
An old friend of mine wrote a fictional biography of Etta Place, girlfriend of Butch Cassidy or the Sundance Kid or both of them or whatever and he is interviewed on a PBS documentary about Butch and Sundance that’s going to be on tomorrow night. I told him I would watch unless it’s on at the same time as curling.
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brian stouder said on February 10, 2014 at 11:01 am
If I get to judge threads –
9.98 technical; 9.99 overall for Mary!
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LAMary said on February 10, 2014 at 11:07 am
Here’s a seven minute thing about the Butch and Sundance documentary: My friend is the guy with the white hair and glasses.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/bonus-video/butch-chapter-1/
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brian stouder said on February 10, 2014 at 11:31 am
I look forward to seeing the pbs link this evening; meanwhile, I’m still pondering the proprietress’s theoretical reference to 36″ thighs that could kill a man.
Another case of “with great power comes great responsibility”, I’d say
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MichaelG said on February 10, 2014 at 11:35 am
Brian, rent “Lust in the Dust”. A very funny movie. You’ll see what the boss lady has in mind. You can check it out on IMDB.
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Jeff Borden said on February 10, 2014 at 12:02 pm
Brian,
You won’t find any 36-inch thighs in Russ Meyer’s “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” but you will see Turu Satana, who was marketed as half-Mexican and half-Apache Indian, break the back of a man she fights in the desert. No one would ever accuse Meyer of being a feminist –the three female characters are supposed to be Las Vegas dancers out for advent in their sports cars– but there is definitely a “girl power” vibe throughout this violent but wacky black and white classic.
I finally saw this drive-in staple several years ago on DVD and it was a better film than I would’ve expected.
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brian stouder said on February 10, 2014 at 12:08 pm
I shall do it – and report back.
Meanwhile, I finally (finally!) saw Rush, and enjoyed it.
I did think they overplayed reciprocating pistons/endless sexx metaphor (once is more than enough; X3 = just stupid)
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Judybusy said on February 10, 2014 at 12:17 pm
Speaking of things on PBS, there is going to be a special on Wednesday about Il Duomo–the dome in Florence, Italy designed and built by Brunelleschi in the early 1400s. Russ King wrote a great book about it, and it was featured in a recent Smithsonian magazine. I so love reading about stuff like this, so am looking forward to the show.
Here in MN we are all very excited that the last subzero night for the meantime will occur tonight. We’re talkin’ 30 on Thursday! Oh, but wait, then the low is -3. Nevermind.
I AM so, so excited our new garage is getting done. Ironically due to the very frigid weather, it’s taken freakin’ forever, so the very winter a garage would be a most wondrous thing, it’s been unavailable. The opener gets installed today, then we’re in! Unless because of the -25 windchill he can’t do that. Then we’re not in.
I’m in a whiny mood today: the guy doing this is an acquaintance, and he at some point backed into my treasured compost bin. Thankfully, he owned up to it and will build me a new one come spring. In the end, this will be a really good thing, as the bin is about 20 years old. Ok, enough grousing.
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Charlotte said on February 10, 2014 at 12:21 pm
Cold cold cold and more snow this weekend here. Warming up some today, but still grey. Ugh. Not quite ILF, but cabin fever has set in, along with some ucky low-level virus for both of us. Intermittent fevers and achy-ness. The kind of thing you can’t quite take off work for, but makes you feel like crap.
However, this morning’s Finland/Canada women’s hockey was cheering. I love women’s hockey, and think every time of a girl who skated at my rink as a little kid — Sally spent about 5 minutes in figure skates before she demanded hockey blades. I think she got to goal tend until about middle-school, when she was just SOL. There was no women’s hockey in those days.
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Sherri said on February 10, 2014 at 12:36 pm
Thanks for the heads up, Judybusy! I’m set up to record the show. I loved King’s book (Brunelleschi’s Dome is the title, if anyone else is interested), and read it just before my trip to Italy and Florence several years ago.
We had a little snow this weekend (most of the snow went south of us, hence the Portland video), but it’s warmed up just enough to rain, and we’re supposed to get rain all week. Oh well, I’d rather have rain than more fog at this point.
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Dexter said on February 10, 2014 at 1:02 pm
I know I promised, but I will admit that I have seen glimpses of skaters and snow-boarders and such, but I cannot help it if I am compelled to watch other things. So I also admit that I will watch curling…it’s on when? Tomorrow? I thought it was stupid when I discovered it on Canadian TV 36 years ago. We used to get Channel 50 Detroit and some Canadian station on our cable package back then. The more I watched it, the more I became intrigued. The only bowling I ever watched was from The Big Lebowski, but curling is tense.
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coozledad said on February 10, 2014 at 1:26 pm
In anticipation of today’s snow, I made some low glycemic index brownies, sweetened entirely with zylitol, and the fats are primarily coconut oil and eggs. They’re very tasty, but my wife is experiencing side effects. I asked her what she would like for dinner. She says Lomotil.
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DanB said on February 10, 2014 at 1:31 pm
The follow-up interview with the jogger who slipped is well worth reading, too: she has a very funny self-awareness about the whole thing http://deadspin.com/meet-the-girl-who-ate-it-after-interview-about-running-1519389938
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brian stouder said on February 10, 2014 at 3:12 pm
Cooz – forget the low glycemic index brownies and the zylitol…it’s the arsenic (and old lace?) that’d pitch me into hittin’ the Lomotil
http://www.chem.info/news/2014/02/nc-admits-arsenic-test-mistake?et_cid=3760730&et_rid=44004269&location=top#.Uvkwt9GPK1s
an excerpt:
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — North Carolina’s environmental agency said Sunday it wrongly declared all test results for the arsenic levels in the Dan River as safe for people after a massive coal ash spill.
A water sample taken Monday, two days after the spill was discovered, was four times higher than the maximum level for people to have prolonged contact, such as swimming, the state Department of Environment and Natural Resources said. “We made an honest mistake while interpreting the results,” state Division of Water Resources director Tom Reeder said in a statement.
See – it was an ‘honest mistake’, right!
Oooopsie….
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coozledad said on February 10, 2014 at 3:28 pm
Republicans gutted the department of natural resources, and installed their ass-buddies. I always say these are the kind of people who will crawl up on the dinner table and shit on their own plate in the process of trying to shit in yours.
Money’s their only god, and they can’t even get that right. They’re the strongest argument for the evolutionary process of the self-extinguishing of a species.
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Scout said on February 10, 2014 at 4:17 pm
Here’s yet another reason to celebrate the civility of this blog. This is a comment following the original jogger slipping story. People can be such complete bung holes.
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meanman99Sean Newell
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I hope four things happen to this awful lady. 1) I hope she severely injured her spine and is never able to run again 2) I hope she is never able to bear chdren as a result if this fall 3) I hope her boyfriend leaves her for a busty woman who menstruates. 4) I hope her mean father tells her she should have “just been a regular girl and not all this running crap now you’ll die a spinster with 20 cats”. There is a special place in hell for hipsters like her Saturday 11:51pm
csb1984meanman99
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Meanman99 Sean Newell indeed. Loved jogger girl’s reply to this complete asswipe:
Daaaamn, dude! All I did was eat shit after a local news lady asked us some pandering questions while we were out running in the snow. Didn’t realize my on-camera awkwardness and subsequent spill warranted such an epically fucked up fate. Can’t imagine what’s in store for anyone who actually takes themselves (or something this dumb) that seriously. Yikes. Yesterday 2:25am
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brian stouder said on February 10, 2014 at 4:50 pm
Scout – wow.
I will cop to this much: almost 20 years ago, I was big-big-big into open wheel racing, and there was a split between CART (the good guys) and IRL (BOOOO!!! The hobby horse of the grandson of the original Tony Hulman*)…and to casual fans – there was nothing to distinguish the two rival series, and to the fans – and especially the ones who frequented the comments section of the Indianapolis Star (including me), it was the unending food-fight to end all food-fights.
Unmoderated internet message boards were a new thing then (at least to me), and guys (and some women) were just terrible to one another.
Then as now, I always posted with my real name – which I found moderated me (at least a little). But the cleverest posting names belonged to the biggest assholes, without fail
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Hattie said on February 10, 2014 at 5:04 pm
Glad you are getting out to better weather for a while.
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Bitter Scribe said on February 10, 2014 at 5:08 pm
Neil Steinberg reveals today how he was prevented from writing in a column that he wishes Albom was dead.
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paddyo' said on February 10, 2014 at 5:47 pm
Dexter @2: WORD, re: the deliciously eerie True Detectives. McConaughey and Harrelson are just jaw-drop amazing, and the rest of the casting is bizarro-brilliant. And where do they come up with these inmates, bikers and tent-revival-goers? Dredged up from the bayou, I’d reckon.
And I love seeing yet another The Wire alum as one of the interrogating police detectives, the former Brother Muozone — minus the bow tie and his Atlantic, New Republic and, of course, his Harpers).
If they gave out an Emmy for cinematography, TD would get it. Even the opening credits are mesmerizing. And with T-Bone Burnett in charge of the music, that’s it. My new favorite TV drama, on HBO or anyplace else. Long may it writhe.
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Joe K said on February 10, 2014 at 6:29 pm
I ran this morning, Sunday morning, Saturday morning, Friday morning, when it’s really cold, like below 0 you layer up, I made my own ice shoes, sheet metal screws screwed into the thick part of the soles of a pair of nikes, cost about $3 bucks, 6-8 screws in each shoe, you get a nice bite when you push off, these are good for frozen snow, light snow over dry pavement is really easy to run on, the stuff that’s bad is when the frozen stuff melts and it’s slush. I’ve run as low as -14 as long as there isn’t any wind it’s not bad at all. Went to Waterloo Iowa this morning suppose to be -24 tonight out there, damn. I’m not sure about 36 inch thighs but some of them skatin gals have butts you could serve tea off of. Loved the Beatles tribute last night, neat to see Paul and Ringo singing along with everyone else, and Ringo looks like he is still having fun.
Pilot Joe
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Scout said on February 10, 2014 at 6:35 pm
And while I seem to be on the subject of douchey people today – how about the CEO of AOL? I’m loving that the mom of the “expensive” preemie happens to be a pretty good writer.
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2014/02/tim_armstrong_blames_distressed_babies_for_aol_benefit_cuts_he_s_talking.single.html
And speaking of karma being a bitch – the story of the suicide bomber instructor that accidentally blew up the 21 students he was teaching was certainly ironic. Call Alanis Morissette.
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Basset said on February 10, 2014 at 7:04 pm
No “Bonanza” for us, Dave, nobody wanted to see it but me so I’ll watch it by myself later.
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Joe K said on February 10, 2014 at 7:37 pm
Want to know what’s cool?
Most know I’m not a big fan of the Obamas, but my niece who is a major in the army serving as a nurse, and stationed in D.C. In order to get her PhD in nursing, posted on her Facebook page a picture of her meeting mrs Obama today at a luncheon.
Proud uncle,
Pilot Joe
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basset said on February 10, 2014 at 9:43 pm
For those of you not watching the Westminster Dog Show, the bloodhound won the hound group, the basset was third. Nice lemon and white, flopping wrinkles and flinging drool all around the ring.
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Deborah said on February 10, 2014 at 9:43 pm
Catching up on comments after spending the day at the Rio Arriba County offices (the poorest county in NM, which Abiquiu is part of) I was doing research about landowners in our area because we’re rewriting our covenants which expire in June. I found something really disturbing a land owner near us who owns quite a bit of acreage has listed it as “non-residential land” none of the other land in the area is listed that way. The owner lives in California and works for Exxon Mobil. That seems weird to me and raises a red flag. All we need is someone who wants to put the land near us up for drilling, or fracking. Great.
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Kirk said on February 10, 2014 at 10:05 pm
That is chilling, Deborah.
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Jeff (the mild-mannered one) said on February 10, 2014 at 10:19 pm
Salute to your niece, Joe. He’s everyone’s President!
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Dave said on February 10, 2014 at 10:38 pm
Basset, I watched “Bonanza” last winter almost every evening because my father, who was in his last days, loved Westerns, and about all he wanted to watch was The Western Channel, an Encore channel. I tired of “Bonanza” before too long but found that I really enjoyed watching the old half hour “Gunsmoke” show. Also enjoyed watching some of the “Wyatt Earp” shows with Hugh O’ Brian, funny what you notice that you never saw as a little kid. It was also interesting to see some of the people, including some future stars, who showed up in some of those shows.
Scout, at #26, down here in Florida (where we’ve escaped to), where the retired cop shot the man over texting in the theater, some of the remarks I’ve read are unbelievable, up to and including that the man probably had it coming. Of course, it happened in Pasco County, where everything bad around here seems to happen.
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Dave said on February 10, 2014 at 10:46 pm
Oh, and would Prospero have liked The Beatles tribute? Would he have said Ray (Davies) has never got his due?
Kind of silly and pointless when I find myself wondering what he would have said about this or that.
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basset said on February 10, 2014 at 11:26 pm
Brian@27, I never paid a lot of attention to the CART/IRL friction but I do remember seeing Tony George referred to as “winner of the lucky sperm contest.”
Indy oughta go back to roadsters, if you ask me.
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Dexter said on February 11, 2014 at 12:35 am
Dave, you are right. prospero would have blazed this blog with his condemnation of the neglect The Kinks have received. And it’s funny, Ron Bennington on XM 99 Raw Dog Comedy Hits said the same thing leading off his show Monday noon.
basset, I thought the basset would win…I got nothin’ against the bloodhound, I just thought that goofy-lookin’ Indiana judge was wack. All-in-all, an enjoyable evening, with my Labbie-dog alongside me in the recliner, watching every move the whippet made . I was watching my dog’s eyes as the whippet moved around, she was definitely watching intently.
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