Crib notes.

If you send me an e-mail on the weekend and I don’t respond immediately, please to forgive. I’ve started trying to make at least 36 hours of the weekend internet-free. It’s an intention that doesn’t always work out, but when it does, I’m able to go almost a day without knowing the biggest political story of the day was that Sarah Palin wrote something on her hand.

People, please. Obviously, it’s funny. Obviously, it’s what she might call kinda ironical-like, given that it came in a speech with yet another crack about Obama and his TelePromTer. But as they say: Consider the source. This is she-who trying to recapture what turned out to be the high point of her career — her speech in St. Paul at the GOP convention. And based on what I saw and read (and cousin, you couldn’t pay me enough to watch the whole thing) it wasn’t even that good — your basic goulash of god-bless-America and thank-you-soldiers-for-our-freedom, and the obligatory backhand to the “professor of law” currently occupying the Oval Office. Your basic red meat for the knuckle-draggers, all delivered completely off the top of her head, because of course she doesn’t use a ‘prompter. Neither did George W. Bush.

If you want to get upset, read…well, you better read this first, the Cliff’s Notes version of yet another I-think-I’ve-got-Obama’s-pedigree-doped-out think piece, and then, only if you dare to swim in slime on a crisp winter morning, should you read the comments on the original piece, because cousin, nothing anyone ever said about Sarah Palin’s baby even comes close.

That’s the second time I’ve used “cousin” as an interjection today. Can you tell I saw “Inglourious Basterds” this weekend? A hoot. We ain’t in the pris’ner-takin’ bidness, we in the Nazi-killin’ bidness, and cousin? Bidness is a-boomin’. Finally, a use for Brad Pitt’s lazy tongue. But he’s not the star of that movie; Christoph Waltz is, and looking at the other Oscar nominees for Best Supporting, all I can say is, if he doesn’t take it home, we live in a cruel world where justice is an illusion.

Which means he could very easily lose, because: See above.

So, how was y’all’s weekend? I spent part of it in the dusty stacks of the Detroit Public Library, and part of it writing (with the internet turned off!), so I saw little of note. Oh, except for the Super Bowl, which I watched with one-third of my attention (I was working at the same time, but it was a slow night for non-football and non-advertising news). As I believe I stated, I was rooting for New Orleans, on the usual irrational grounds: New Orleans is more fun than Indianapolis, Peyton Manning needs that smug smile wiped off his face, it’s always fun when the underdog wins. Usually my backing is the kiss of death, so it was nice to see sometimes it isn’t. I see we’ve already had the red-state chime-in in the previous thread, about how now all Katrina-related wounds are healed and we must hear no more about it. I was unaware of this attitude; is it prevalent? If so, some news: Ain’t gonna happen, cousin.

Also, it would seem we finally, finally have a major snowstorm headed our way. If it comes, it will be only the second shovel-able snow we’ve had this season, which must amuse you east coast folks. Nevertheless, I’ll take it. Droughts are droughts no matter the season.

Bloggage? Not much, but there’s this: Nate Silver on she-who. I’m going to do some rounds and study Russian.

Almost forgot! My favorite commercial.

Posted at 9:52 am in Current events | 75 Comments
 

Thawing.

The Ice House wasn’t having a very good day. The sun was out, and the temperature was on its way up to a high of 36 or so, and the roof was melting:

Detroit ice house

Apparently this has been a problem all along. The hipsters-in-charge weren’t too happy about the uncooperative weather. The bus and tarp were along the southern exposure, trying to block the sun from the very nice icicles. Otherwise, they were holding up OK:

Detroit ice house

I can never resist the Tri-X setting on the new camera for long:

Detroit ice house

Overall? Eh. It’s an interesting achievement, but ultimately — ice on a house. Perhaps I lack imagination.

Yeesh, what a week. You should not be surprised to hear that current events have schadenfreude thick in the air in Michigan. One of my Twitter follows is retweeting every Toyota joke that comes down the pike. My favorite is the new Toyota marketing slogan: “There’s no stopping us now!” They make good cars; they’ll pull through, but stuck accelerators are scary things, and handling a PR disaster like this is not for the weak of stomach. Ay yi yi, but being No. 1 is suddenly seeming a hollow victory.

They may think different in Silicon Valley, but manufacturing is not for the faint of heart. A million widgets that can fail you any number of ways, and now all this software. Alan was having a problem with the throttle on his Subaru a few months ago, and asked the dealer to check it out. The diagnosis? Some old code in the computer. No wonder the best mechanic I knew in Fort Wayne can’t work on his own car anymore.

I don’t want to bug out early, but I must. Another redonkulous day ahead, capped by yet another middle-school dance. I haven’t heard any Lady Gaga in a week — this’ll do me good. A little bloggage before I go:

A woman who collects Playboy magazines. Because why not?

Not everyone working at a newspaper is miserable. My old college classmate Mark just spent a month in Afghanistan for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, and came back with one of those great old expensive series newspapers do so well. Part 1 commences here.

For you writer fans, a new interview with Martin Amis.

Christopher Beam looks at that weird sheep ad. EDIT: Bad link fixed. Sorry. And thanks for the heads-up.

And I’m off to the shower.

Posted at 8:52 am in Current events, Detroit life | 47 Comments
 

Detroitywood.

A great time was had by me at the Mitten Movie Project last night (and probably at least some others). The monthly festival of short films featured the director’s cut of “The Message,” our December 48-hour challenge short, and please don’t laugh — unlike most director’s cuts, this one really was better than the original. (Yes, of course it grew. By two minutes.)

The Mitten is curated by one of our producers, Connie Mangilin, who keeps a relentlessly upbeat attitude about film in Michigan, large and small. She frequently works on the large productions, in part to finance her participation in the small ones. Knowing how much work goes into even a very small one, it’s always amazing to see how many people even bother to do it, and gratifying that so many do it well.

(Of course, many do it not-well, too, but now that I’ve done this a time or three, I can almost always see what the problem was, and forgive them for it. When you can’t pay people, you get people willing to work for nothing. When they are actors, it’s a coin flip. Amateur actors are more likely to have grating upper-Midwest eeaccents that can reduce even well-written dialogue to cole slaw. And nearly all of them are young and most are arty hipster types, which becomes a problem when you’ve written a role for, say, a gangster. A word to directors: Putting sunglasses on a guy with a soul patch and a visible piercing doesn’t make him look particularly threatening. He just looks like an arty hipster douchebag. By the way, many professional actors have voice problems, too. Brad Pitt is from Nebraska southern Missouri, but has a persistent contemporary burr in his voice that works in the “Oceans” movies but sounds ludicrous in many roles, particularly as Achilles.)

Among the highlights last night: “The Farmer and the Philosopher,” a short about Toby Barlow, author and Detroit ad man, and Mark Covington, the inspiring soul behind the Georgia Street Community Collective, a reclamation of a battered neighborhood on the east side. A long-overdue note: Sweet Juniper has featured the GSCC a time or three, and when I mentioned it here some months back, one of you fabulous NN.C readers hit their Paypal button and donated $50. I learned of this sometime later, and while I know whoever did it wasn’t looking for credit (at least, I assume so — I don’t know who it was), here, have some: CREDIT.

Another fave was “Dr. Reddy,” a goofy story about a bad doctor but an awesome karaoke singer — in Telugu! Dr. Reddy was played by an actor — sorry, I didn’t get his name — who has actually worked in various Telugu-language films; it’s the one spoken in southern India, and the videos playing during his karaoke performance featured himself in a big Bollywood-style song-and-dance number. And the karaoke takes place in a biker bar, so what you end up with is a sort of Peewee Herman-goes-to-Hyderabad-via-Sturgis thing. That’s entertainment.

And then there was our film, with extra footage that wouldn’t fit into our 48-hour time limit. One of these days we’ll get it up on Vimeo and you folks can watch it. One of these days.

Until then, there’s a poster:

The existence of this poster just cracks me up. Both my co-writer Ron and I plan to hang it in our houses to impress our easily impressed friends. And if it isn’t a finalist in the competition (we find out any day now) I will stain it with bitter tears.

So, then, bloggage? There must be some:

I was struck by this picture of she-who, presumably taken on the set of some Fox News show. She may not have the Fox Lips yet, but she definitely has the Fox Parentheses, the styling of the hair into punctuation marks framing the face. For some reason this is the preferred hairstyle of TV news, mostly on blondes, but now on the world’s most famous right-wing brunette. I think we’ve seen the last of the messy updo, boys; if that’s your favorite look, hang on to your pictures and be careful how often you kiss them. I predict we’ll start seeing a lot more caramel-colored highlights in the future, too. Just be advised.

Hmm, Hoosiers: Dan Coats to take on Evan Bayh? We’ll see. Non-Hoosiers: The former Sen. Coats was one of the birdbrains behind the Communications Decency Act, an early attempt at regulating smut on the internet, a staggeringly dimwitted piece of legislation that was overturned by the Supreme Court unanimously. When you can get Justice John Paul Stevens and Justice Antonin Scalia to agree on something, you know you’ve got a hit on your hands.

And that’s it for today, folks. Let’s hope for a better tomorrow.

Posted at 10:51 am in Current events, Detroit life, Movies | 82 Comments
 

Stuck in neutral, or not.

Alan and I are having one of our occasional squabbles (“The Atlantic is a better ocean! The Pacific is a better ocean!”) over the lede on this story:

DETROIT — The 911 call came at 6:35 p.m. on Aug. 28 from a car that was speeding out of control on Highway 125 near San Diego.

The caller, a male voice, was panic-stricken: “We’re in a Lexus … we’re going north on 125 and our accelerator is stuck … we’re in trouble … there’s no brakes … we’re approaching the intersection … hold on … hold on and pray … pray …”

The call ended with the sound of a crash.

The story is about Toyota’s sudden-acceleration problem, of course. The driver is described as an “off-duty California Highway Patrol officer.” We both agree that when one is in a car with an apparently stuck accelerator, the first thing to do is shift into neutral. However, I maintain that anyone in a highway patrol would have advanced training in high-speed driving and would know this in his bones, and if he didn’t do so, there must have been a reason — perhaps the car couldn’t be shifted into neutral at speed, I dunno. He maintains I am “overthinking” it, and the guy just panicked and forgot.

And then I realized that this is just about the five-year anniversary of our move to Detroit, and we must be natives for sure now, because we are arguing about cars.

Everyone in that Lexus died, by the way. This just underlines why I am bound and determined that Kate learn to drive on a stick shift, and I don’t care if she burns out a clutch doing so; driving a manual requires you to pay more attention to the task at hand. And there’s another reminder: When we moved here, Kate was in second grade. This time next year, she will be months away from getting her learner’s license. Of course Michigan teens can start driving under supervision at 14 years, eight months. Utter insanity, but that’s how an automotive state rolls. I’m sure kids in Kentucky and Virginia were expected to start smoking at 12, once upon a time, to help the state’s economy.

First of February, today. This is always around the time I notice the light is changing, not so much the time the sun shines but the angle — ask a scientist why, I prefer the poets. The same thing happens the first week in August, when, on lower-humidity days (it never quite gets “low” here), the sun seems distinctly autumnal. As any groundhog will tell you, there’s a lot more winter ahead of us, but today, you can see the high-water mark. And it’s dry.

Both bits of bloggage are old, but not everyone has time to read the internet every day. So here goes:

A Texas politician declines to seek newspaper endorsement, and the newspaper calls this a “major rebuke.” Ha. Endorsements are one of those holdovers from not just an earlier time, but a way-way earlier time, and flat-out refuse to die. The best guesstimates I’ve seen is that in a hotly contentious presidential election year, all the newspaper endorsements in the country might have an influence over 10,000 votes, tops, and that’s being generous. Locally, who knows, but the fact that candidates work so hard to get them, and make such a fuss when they do or don’t, always struck me as sort of pathetic.

Endorsements are based on editorial-board interviews with candidates, followed by a discussion. The publisher usually wins, and the publisher is usually either a pro-business conservative and sometimes a generic center-left liberal. A windy, boring editorial will be published, using the royal “we.” (I sometimes wonder if that royal we isn’t why editorials are so boring; a previous ed-page editor of in Fort Wayne referred to the board as “the page” or “this page,” and solicited columns from “friends of the page,” which is how they were designated: Bob Butthead, Friend of the Page. I once asked why they didn’t ask others to be Enemies of the Page, a far cooler column head if you ask me, but as usually happens when you’re dealing with people who consider themselves not an I but a We, it didn’t go over well.

Anyway, the whole editorial-page structure — Hear Us, Voice of This August Institution — was blown out of the water by the internet, but many of them haven’t gotten the news yet. And so: “Major rebuke.” Now there’s a column I’d read: By Major Rebuke, Enemy of the Page.

And speaking of media institutions that refuse to change, even while the foundations are washed out from under them, Charlie Brooker on how to report news, TV-style. A YouTube link, but funny and worth your time. Wasn’t I just talking about this the other day? If only I’d taken the time to make the video.

Manic Monday is already underway, a day with a perpetually stuck accelerator. Ciao for me, and off to rounds ‘n’ Russian.

Posted at 9:56 am in Current events, Detroit life, Media | 65 Comments
 

Soup without tears.

January is National Soup Month. Before it slips into the books, let’s recall a few of the month’s steaming pots here at the Nall-Derringer Co-Prosperity Sphere:

Sweet potato bisque: I happened to be at the Russell Street Deli, an Eastern Market institution known for its spectacular soups, the week before Christmas, when this was on the menu. It was…mouth-gasmic. It fogged my glasses and my mind. I tried to consider what the “Top Chef” judges call its “flavor profile,” but my tastebuds were happy-dancing so, it was hard to get them to settle down and give some sober feedback. It had many of the notes of a sweet potato pie — cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger — but was savory overall. I found a recipe online that seemed to come close, using buttermilk for the tang, and whipped up a batch. It was very good, but not as good as Russell’s. Three stars (out of four).

Curried butternut squash: An early improvisation, inspired by Mark Bittman. I make a version of this every fall, basically squash soup with curry and a tart apple thrown in the mix. For this, I left out the apple and added a can of coconut milk, and my friends? It was fabulous. I’m buying coconut milk every other week now. Four stars.

Cream of cauliflower: Another Bittman inspiration, brought on by the perennial January realization that I could eat a lot more vegetables if I tried. Sauté onion and garlic, throw in a whacked-up head of cauliflower, cover with broth, simmer to softness, puree and swirl in a half-cup or so of cream. Yum. Three-and-a-half stars.

Roasted garlic with white cheddar: I make this in the winter most years, but not for the last few. It’s an old Betty Rosbottom recipe, simplicity itself: Break up and peel two heads of garlic, cover with olive oil and roast in the oven for 40 minutes or so. Meanwhile, soften some leeks or onions or both, add a few potatoes, cover with broth, simmer simmer simmer, etc. When it’s soft, throw in the roasted garlic [EDIT: Remove the garlic from the oil first] and puree. Finish by stirring in a handful of grated white cheddar cheese. Serve with a green salad and crusty bread you can sop in the oil from the garlic roasting. Refrain from kissing for the rest of the night. Four stars.

Chili: Because if it’s winter in the Midwest, there will be chili. Everyone has their own favorite recipe. You don’t need to hear mine. Three stars.

No-cream of cauliflower and carrot: This was last night. I had a head of golden cauliflower teetering on the edge, so I made it the same way I did the other cauliflower soup, only I added a double handful of carrots and left out the cream and curry. Topped with some grated cheddar, cocked my shotgun, held it to the head of my daughter and forced her to choke down 10 spoonfuls or so, which she advised me were “gross.” Reader, it was not. It was delicious. Three and a half stars.

Note all the pureeing. You can do it in batches in the blender, but that’s a pain in the ass. Far better to spend $30 on what Emeril calls a “boat motor” and most cookbooks call an immersion blender. Mine broke last night, which seemed to be a fitting marker for the end of National Soup Month.

Although I will buy a new one this weekend. Because you really need an immersion blender. At least in our house.

Which takes us to the bloggage at the end of a cold but sunny week here in the Mitten:

You want to know why people hate lawyers? Try the NFL’s jerkishness in trying to stop New Orleans retailers from selling T-shirts and other merchandise featuring the fleur de lis and/or the phrase “Who dat?” One of my Facebook friends, Ray Shea, said it best:

The fleur de lis predates the existence of the NFL by more than two millenia. The fleur de lis has flown on flags over Lousiana for more than four centuries. Black and gold has been associated with the Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club for almos a century. The phrase “Who Dat” is more than a century old and exists in recorded New Orleans music since the 1930s.

The NFL is granted a temporary non-exclusive license to suck my balls.

Ray is an old friend of Ashley’s, and won my allegiance to the Saints the night the team beat Indianapolis, and he posted, “Who dat pushing Manning’s face in the turf? WHO DAT?” Indeed. Peyton Manning is a guy whose face can never be pushed into the turf too often.

I just surfed through Memorandum to see what’s going on in the world of politics, and found this headline: Palin to Obama: Stop the fingerpointing. And with that, irony died once again and I officially declared the weekend under way.

So enjoy yours.

Posted at 10:12 am in Current events, Same ol' same ol' | 83 Comments
 

Costume party.

I can’t get over the known facts of this (like a good journo, I say: alleged) wiretapping attempt in Louisiana. Every part of it is a forehead-smacker, up to and including the priceless detail that this escapade is, hello, a felony, meaning right-wing hero James O’Keefe is now in very very big trouble. Which doesn’t make it any less funny.

If the facts of the case turn out to be anything like the allegations of the case, it’s pretty clear what happened here: A stupid, heedless young man, drunk on attention and looking for a followup to a coup that landed him on all the big Fox talk shows, made the mistake of assuming that because he’s smarter than a criminally dumb Acorn office worker, he’s smarter than everyone. You have to admire his logic: I was on “Fox & Friends,” ergo, I am smart. In a better world, his ridiculous pimp outfit alone would have gotten him laughed out of anything other than a Halloween party; instead, he got a hidden-camera scoop. And so he learned the lesson every reporter learns after his or her first big story: Sooner or later your editor is going to wander past your desk, stop and say, “So, what do you have coming for tomorrow?”

O’Keefe appears to have been lining up his second act when he and his buddies were arrested, “wearing jeans, fluorescent green vests, tool belts and hard hats.” Because that would fool anyone, right? Everybody needs a hard hat to work in an office phone closet.

I used to work with a bulldog of a reporter who once tried to sneak into a hospital ER — a homicide scene — wearing a white lab coat and carrying a clipboard. He was thrown out almost immediately, but it scored big A-for-effort points with the bosses and people called him “doctor” for a while afterward. It’s funny how disguises work: Badly, most of the time. You can go to the uniform-supply store and stock up, but you almost always get important details wrong. You forget the way nurses put stickers on their name tags. You wear the wrong shoes. (Maybe you’ve been watching “House” and assume all female physicians wear stilettos and plunging necklines, like Dr. Cuddy.) You forget to erase the expression from your face and give off a nervous vibe. There’s a reason good actors make good money. A believable impersonation is no small achievement.

That this ridiculous caper was attempted in the company of the son of a U.S. attorney only makes it funnier. Things may look grim for Democrats in 2010, but as long as there are young men like James O’Keefe in the world, we’ll always have entertainment.

A tangent, but it just popped into my head: I remember, in the film “Crumb,” a scene where Robert Crumb goes out making sketches of the little infrastructure details in American cities. He was about to move to France, and wanted to get them down so he wouldn’t forget to put them in the backgrounds of his drawings — high-tension wires, street lights, fire hydrants, concrete blocks at the end of parking places, all visual clutter we see-but-don’t, and only notice when they’re missing. That’s what people forget when they’re trying to be someone else.

A few years ago, I looked up from my desk in the newsroom to see Sen. Evan Bayh walking past, en route to a meeting with the editorial board. He is exactly what he appears to be in his photos — tall, slim, blonde*, blandly handsome in that vote-for-me kind of way. His suit fit him well without being overly European. If Hoosiers can be Brahmins, that’s what he looked like. Behind him scurried a number of aides, the lead one carrying all the hardware; his pants sagged from the weight of the multiple cell-phone holsters, pagers and PDAs he carried, this being before the era of consolidation in a single device. The way his navy-blue blazer stuck out at strange angles at his waist — that was the detail a costume designer trying to duplicate the look for a movie would struggle with. But it was the detail that established his station in life, the way Bayh’s slim weightlessness distinguished his own.

And with that, a discussion of misbehavior and one of the aide’s burden, we can segue neatly to the wisps of John Edwards’ dignity, blowing in the wind now that his own factotum is turning on him:

According to Young, (Reille) Hunter called him in May 2007 to say she was pregnant. Young says that when he informed Edwards, the senator told him to “handle it,” to which he replied: “I can’t handle this one.” Young writes that Edward unloaded on Hunter as a “crazy slut,” said they had an “open relationship,” and put his paternity chances at “one in three.” Young says that Edwards asked him for help persuading Hunter to have an abortion. Young writes that Hunter believed the baby to be “some kind of golden child, the reincarnated spirit of a Buddhist monk who was going to help save the world.”

Crazy Agnes of God believed she was carrying the Almighty’s baby. Crazy new-age girls believe they’re Buddha’s baby mama. It’s all crazy, and it’s all cringeworthy, through and through.

Guerrilla bridge-makers step up to do what city won’t. I’m intrigued to learn this pipe has been leaking across a New York City sidewalk for “years” — I thought that only happened in Detroit. Down near Alan’s office a couple years back, a broken water main leaked into the street for months on end before it was repaired, and the city’s jury-rig for the winter was to come down from time to time and dump a load of salt on it, simultaneously appalling and funny. When we went to Buenos Aires, I noticed how broken sidewalks and other pedestrian hazards were far less likely to be cordoned off with tape or marked by cones. Walk at your own risk! It’s a dangerous world out there.

And I must turn to work. Enjoy Hump Day, however you spend it.

* Hoosier readers object to the designation of Bayh as a blonde, and after examining the photo record, I think they’re right. I always picture him as sort of an ashy dark blonde in my head, but now his hair is dark brown. He’s almost certainly covering the gray; maybe going darker is more believable than keeping him light. Whatever, only his hairdresser knows for sure. Corrected.

Posted at 10:17 am in Current events | 53 Comments
 

More misery.

It’s looking as though Mark was right when he remarked, late in yesterday’s comments:

I really fear that the situation in Haiti is about to become much worse. The absence of even water could turn things into a Mad Max scene. With 48 hours of hindsight, I’m thinking we should have air-dropped 20,000 Rangers loaded to the gills with water, MREs and ammo. I hope I’m wrong.

Well, you be the judge:

A photographer working for Time magazine, Shaul Schwarz, told Reuters he had come across two roadblocks made from rocks and corpses. Residents had apparently set up the roadblocks in central Port-au-Prince out of frustration over the trickle of assistance.

“They are starting to block the roads with bodies,” Mr. Schwarz said, quoted by Reuters. “It’s getting ugly out there. People are fed up with getting no help.”

That sounds pretty Mad Max to me. The Big Picture blog just posted a 48-hours-later update that looks the same. It’s Katrina to the power of 10, or maybe 100. It’s frustrating how this nation, so close to the United States, is still so hard to reach, having had sketchy infrastructure in the best of times, and now even the relatively simple act of landing a plane is a chest-clutcher:

“The main thing is to try to establish some order at the airport so we can start getting planes in and out,” said Col. Patrick Hollrah of the Air Force, whose disaster-response team arrived Thursday night from New Jersey aboard a C-17 cargo plane.

In the cockpit of the plane, air traffic chatter could be heard through headsets, giving some sense of the barely controlled confusion in the skies. Planes were being forced to circle for two to three hours before landing.

Yeesh. Meanwhile, what do we think of this? That’s Sanjay Gupta, the CNN correspondent and neurosurgeon, stepping between roles to treat a newborn on camera. I didn’t see it, but the L.A. Times said the network gave it significant play, which sounds about right for CNN — sure, there’s devastation as far as the eye can see, but our handsome staff doctor treated a baby with a cut on her head.

I have CNN on now, and learned that treating the desperate and dying is a daunting task. God damn alliteration. You want a news medium ripe for a total reinvention? Take TV news. Please. I’m often struck, whenever I watch news, either local or national, how paint-by-numbers every part of it is. The local team will feature a man and a woman, one of a non-white persuasion but not threatening to white people, that variety Jon Carroll once brilliantly named Gene Eric Ethnic. The national anchor, usually a hot babe, boots to the correspondent in the field with their strange line readings and head/hand gestures:

Celia, I am STANDing in front of the remains of what was once [gestures] a GROCery store here in Port-au-PRINCE. As you can see, the building is partially collAPSED, and those Haitians who were able to get OUT [furrows brow] are now trying DESperately to help those…who were left [cocks head] beHIND.

You want to know why Rachel Maddow is such a success? She breaks the mold. In some ways, I wish she wasn’t so overtly partisan, just because I’d like to see how she could bring her big brain and no-journalism-school training to straight reporting.

That’s one reason I like much of the web reporting newspapers are doing now. Perhaps because their reporters are too homely to put on camera, they avoid the brain-dead standups and walk-and-talks you see on the local stations.

Which seems as good a time as any to segue to the bloggage, in which it seems to me that the big swingin’ schvantzes of Fox News are taking the opportunity to show the new young doxie on the team who’s the big dog in town. This TPM post about Glenn Beck calling “bullcrap” on Sarah Palin gives an incomplete view of the total weirdness of the segment. For that, you need Jon Stewart, national treasure.

The story made reference to Beck asking Palin to “name her favorite founding father.” She tried the Couric Evasion (“all of them”), which didn’t work then and isn’t working now, because this is Glenn Beck, dammit, and he doesn’t take answers like that from you, missy. Sarah finally settled on George Washington, “because he led them all,” and everyone went away happy.

(I would have said, “Thomas Jefferson, of course — the cute one!”)

Elsewhere, well, two words: Chihuahua airlift.

A local story, but a significant one: A beaten UAW puts its country house on the market. Includes the ashes of Walter Reuther.

Early meeting. Gotta run.

Posted at 9:25 am in Current events | 87 Comments
 

Faults and other problems.

I’ve been curious about Haiti since reading, some years back, Graham Greene’s “The Comedians,” and Madison Smartt Bell’s “All Souls’ Rising.” I’ve known people who traveled there on missionary work and came back with the sort of haunted look that comes when one has acclimated to seeing children walking around with cleft palates and physical evidence of malnutrition a short plane ride from the richest nation on earth. There was a group who went there from a small Christian college not far from Fort Wayne, who stumbled across a voodoo ceremony in progress. The reporter’s account of the innocent Christian youth beholding, with their very own eyes, what they considered to be a summoning of demons, was a bracing read.

The last scene in “Silence of the Lambs,” where Dr. Lecter calls Clah-reece during her FBI graduation party? And he walks off down the strange tropical road, silently stalking his nemesis from the asylum? That was Haiti, and even though it was never identified, one look at the place told you that if a psychopath on the lam could find a place to eat a man in relative peace and quiet, this was the place. At least in the western hemisphere.

Which is not to say Haiti’s problems are entirely self-created. The French and the slavers and the Duvaliers all have blood on their hands. And when a place is as poor as Haiti, an earthquake of that magnitude will have a multiplier effect it wouldn’t have in, say, Los Angeles. Or even San Francisco.

My curiosity about the country didn’t extend to plate tectonics. I didn’t even know Haiti was on a fault. Shows what I know. (Nothing.)

Sorry for the late start today. High-level negotiations this morning resulted in me evidently agreeing to eat a horse between now and spring, i.e., a big project. How do you eat a horse? One bite at a time. Expect distractions. Less time for web-surfing, and so on. Which is fine, because it’s giving me ADD, and I don’t need to see any more photos like this, evidence of when Brad Pitt morphed from the Sexiest Man Alive to the guy who twists his beard into beardy dreads. Ew. Brad and his common-law spouse issued a statement about recent events:

“We are devastated by the news from Haiti. We will work closely with our good friend Wyclef Jean to support the humanitarian efforts on the island and help those who have been injured and left without homes and shelter.”

Beautiful. Not to take anything away from the couple, who at least attempt to walk the walk, but that sentence is a sterling example of contemporary press-agentry, ain’a? The second-most overused word on the planet (“devastated”), followed by a name-drop with oak-leaf clusters (“our good friend Wyclef Jean”), a gratuitous adverb (“closely”), a squishy verb (“support”) and a redundancy (“homes and shelter”). Someday I want to see a celebrity statement that reads: “Why does God punish Haiti so? We can’t know the answer, but in the meantime, I’m going to sign checks until I get writer’s cramp.”

Someone is always devastated by something. It’s the awesome of transitive concern-verbs. Another reason to love the Google: You can look up the phrase “is devastated by” and see how it’s being used:

Woman linked to Jon Gosselin says she’s devastated by the lies, says People magazine’s headline. (Lie! Lie! In the copy, she’s merely “sickened.”)

Ryan Seacrest is devastated by the news Simon Cowell is leaving “American Idol.

The Octomom’s doctor is devastated by charges he’s unfit to practice medicine.

Paris Hilton, devastated. Barry Gibb, devastated. It’s the nervous breakdown of our age. A secret reader of my grandmother’s Photoplay magazines, I always wondered about that mysterious phrase. Also, “collapsed from exhaustion.” My nana never told me what I later learned: It’s a euphemism for “too drunk to work.”

Not much bloggage today, but this:

Sarah Palin: Gettin’ paid, yo.

Time to start eatin’ that horse!

Posted at 11:32 am in Current events, Same ol' same ol' | 47 Comments
 

Watch your language.

FWIW, I don’t think Harry Reid needs to fall on his sword for having used the word “Negro” approximately 40 years after its sell-by date. As one of our commenters put it yesterday, it’s hard to get older people to change their language, citing the nursing-home residents she works with. They insist on using such unfashionable terms as “colored girl,” for instance. Reid isn’t that old, but he’s old enough to have seen a few of these memos come down the pike, sometimes literally so — my paper was an early adopter of “African American,” at a time when even many black people weren’t using it, and it frosted my cookies, too.

That was a different time, though. I’m speaking of the late ’80s, when these things changed in far more formal ways, before it was one of those internet things that just appeared overnight, like Lolspeak or FAIL. There was a cadre of people in my newsroom — I believe their organizational title was the Committee for Chapping Asses — who curried favor from higher-ups by policing our pages for Wrongspeak, and no infraction was too small to generate a passive-aggressive finger in the face.

“I notice that when you slugged that story” — renamed a file, for you civilians — “on the Sino-Japanese trade talks, you called it SINOJAP,” one memorable exchange went.

The accused explained that yes, under our system for naming story files, we were only allowed about eight spaces to indicate to the database manager what the story was actually about, i.e. SHOOTING, or CITYCNCL.

“You need to know that JAP is an unkind term for certain Asian-Americans…”

“Yes, I know about World War II, thanks, but as you well know, we frequently abbreviate words in slug lines, and anyway, the only people who even see that are editors, and are you seriously implying that I had some racist intent here?”

“No, but this is something you need to be sensitive to. Other papers now abbreviate Japan as JPN. Thanks.”

You should have heard him the day an artist drew a cartoon of a mosquito as a kamikaze pilot. But those were the times. There was a huge blow-up over whether residents of the United States could be called “Americans,” seeing as how that was that excluded residents of other countries on the North and South American continents. You could no longer write about homosexuals, or even gay people; it had to be “gay and lesbian,” every reference, all the time. If we hadn’t been located in the ultraconservative Midwest, I’m sure it would have blossomed to “gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual and transgendered.”

Some of this stuff was easy to swallow; I believe you should call people what they want to be called, at least in polite relations, so OK, fine, you’re now African American, go with God. Other tiffs were more about the person doing the correcting than anything else; see the great abbreviation battle above. And some was just stupid, as the trend for making all those who endured a disease or traumatic experience not sufferers or victims but survivors. Mostly what I objected to was being told, as a writer, what my word choice had to be, usually by little weenies who couldn’t write an amusing text message, let alone 700 words of snappy prose.

And I didn’t like when the rules were enforced through robotics, although it did lead to some interesting items in Columbia Journalism Review whenever governmental bodies proudly reported their budgets were “back in the African American,” or when an outdoors writer (inevitably a dork freelancer who had enough trouble coming up with alternative ways to say “big fish”) was told he had to find a new word for certain bass lures, because the computer wouldn’t let him use the word jig anymore.

In his days as a police reporter, Jeff Borden noticed you could peg a cop’s age — and sometimes much more — by how they filled out their reports. The oldest would write MC (male colored), the middle-aged ones MN, and the youngest MB, and the hard-core racists MU (male usual). Orwell was right. Language matters. But that’s something I’m sure Reid knows by now. Peace be with him.

Slate looks at the same topic. Great headline: Watch what they say, not who they do.

I’m growing to hate Mondays, the busiest day of my week. Upside: By Wednesday, you feel the week entering a glide pattern. Not this one, though, with a big story due at the end of it and other kamikaze mosquitos buzzing around my head. I don’t have any more bloggage today, although maybe you’d like to discuss the a-bornin’ career of Sarah Palin, Foxy Gal…whatever it is she’ll be doing now. Finally, an excuse to buy a real wardrobe!

UPDATE: From the Department of Too Good to Wait Another Day, the sad-but-not story of the death of Mighty Joe Rollino, yesterday in Brooklyn.

Posted at 8:32 am in Current events, Media | 65 Comments
 

Screen gem.

A story in Sunday’s NYT makes the case for George Clooney, movie star AND actor. I agree 100 percent. As a withered crone, of course my hubba-hubba interest in him is, in a word, gross, so I lay that aside and concentrate, like the writer of this piece does, on how he does it. We saw “Up in the Air” over the weekend, and there were several points where I noticed what isn’t appealing about his physicality — he’s a little too thin, and has the big Hollywood head first pointed out by LAMary some time back. (As an Angeleno who has seen many in the flesh, she called actors “the lollipop people.”) There was an angle here and there where you could see his neck is getting crepey, although he retains the Clooney sparkle and will until he dies.

What I like about him is his (seeming) professional pluck, uncommon in a movie star capable of phoning it in until retirement. He comes across as not only a nice movie-star guy, but one who really is all about the work. He takes chances, stretches himself, is unafraid of both failure and unflattering camera angles that show his softening neck. He has the self-effacement and good sense not to whine about how hard it is to be him, at least in public. I know a few people who’ve had personal encounters with him and say he’s pretty much as advertised, and if it really is all bullshit and he’s just very good at snowing fangirls like me, then, well-snowed, sir.

Terrence Rafferty gets it right at the very beginning:

He’s the kind of actor who could float along forever on his genial presence alone, coast on charm. But he doesn’t. (Or doesn’t always.) That’s the mystery.

That is, indeed, the mystery. It’s hard to imagine another actor carrying “Up in the Air” as capably as he does, even when you look closely and see where he gets help. He plays a son of a bitch who happily fires people for a living, but gains our sympathy through the early introduction of an even bigger monster, a young underling who wants to fire people for a living via teleconference. He makes a pitch for the comparable dignity of doing such ugly work in person, and you almost forget that he’s the guy who makes his living through outsourced terminations in the first place. It’s the Don Corleone trick; he’s happy to make his living from violence, gambling, prostitution and protection, but not from drugs. He’s the best bad guy in the room.

I try not to read too much about movies I intend to see in theaters, but it was hard to miss the chatter about “Up in the Air,” particularly as it was partially shot here and touches the raw wound of job loss. I read beforehand about how Jason Reitman, the writer and director, had to make a tonal shift in his script as the story was, as we say in journalism, overtaken by events. But whatever he had to rewrite or rethink, he did it exceptionally well. It’s so sure-footed. I think one reason I liked this movie so much is, we don’t see enough stories onscreen about people’s work lives (unless they’re doctors or lawyers or police, that is). We certainly don’t see many about people who work in white-collar office jobs, and I found myself moved by shots that weren’t even particularly fussed over — the pans of offices already half-empty, the extra chairs pushed into a vacant cubicle, the phones piled up on the floor, the way everyone sees Clooney walk in and immediately cower in fear. I’ve been there; my office looked like that when I left, and one of the exciting new ad hoc committees for 2005 was supposed to be the rearrangement and removal of furniture so it didn’t look so tumbleweedy.

I also like Rafferty’s career assessment of Clooney, as he called out my two favorite performances — “Out of Sight” and “Michael Clayton,” and the best part of the latter film. It’s the final, two-minute shot of the Cloonester in the back of a cab:

He flags a taxi, slumps into the back seat and tells the cabbie to drive, and it’s only then that you understand how eloquent Mr. Clooney’s body language has been throughout the preceding two hours — how tensely he’s been holding himself, how warily he’s been sizing up his dangerous world. As he sits in the cab, just riding, the camera stays on him for two full minutes. He does nothing, apparently. His expression hardly changes. But you can feel the weight of what he’s been through in his blankness, his emptied-out eyes. You can’t stop looking at him. It’s a great, daring piece of acting. Only a movie star could get away with it.

(I disagree with that last sentence, by the way. Bob Hoskins, “The Long Good Friday,” end of discussion.)

OK, then. Movie Monday it is, I guess. We also caught an oldie I’d never seen before, “Bound,” on cable Friday night. More on that when I recover from how good it was.

Bloggage? Sure:

The Harry Reid story is leading the weekend news cycle as “Game Change,” the new book about the 2008 presidential campaign, gets circulating. But don’t miss this excerpt in New York magazine, about the meltdown of another handsome man, John Edwards, who fell for the oldest trap in the world.

Speaking of Reid, who still says “Negro,” anyway? Doesn’t he know the code word yet? “Articulate?”

This NYT Styles story was so stupid it made my brain hurt. Thank God for Terrence Rafferty.

I’m late getting to the big New Yorker profile of John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods and, it would seem, the model for Steve Martin’s character in “Baby Mama.” Note well:

His belief in the power of the individual is such that blame falls on individuals, too. In his view, it tends to be the fault of the unhealthy or fat person that he or she is unhealthy or fat. People just need to eat better. He told me, “If I could, I would wave a magic wand so that Americans ate better, because the diseases that are killing us—heart disease, cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s—these diseases have a high correlation with diet. And that is something that most people do not understand.”

It matters less to him that our food system, for a dozen reasons, as Michael Pollan, Eric Schlosser, and many others have chronicled, has been rigged to deliver unhealthy food at artificially low cost to a misguided public. People have the power and the means to choose rice and beans over Big Macs, and when they fail to do so they bring ruin on themselves, and on everyone else. In his Wall Street Journal column, Mackey wrote of “the realization that every American adult is responsible for his or her own health. Unfortunately, many of our health-care problems are self-inflicted: two-thirds of Americans are now overweight, and one-third are obese.” Inarguable as this assertion may be, it struck a discordant note. People who may look to Whole Foods to agitate for changes in the food system, or who have been bankrupted by medical costs despite eating right, might wonder if it was quite the moment to be preaching personal responsibility.

Worth your time.

And another week begins. At least it was a pretty weekend. Enjoy it.

Posted at 1:24 am in Current events, Movies | 78 Comments